Sunday, April 17, 2016

Redshirt - 9/20 hours

I need to take a break from this game for a little while. I made a huge mistake and it's unexpectedly upset me, emotionally. I noticed that I had a high relationship bar with a certain person so I initiated a relationship. Then I applied for a job later that same day. And the hiring manager was my new girlfriend, who not only denied me the job, but promptly broke up with me, convinced that I was only dating her to advance my career.

It kind of broke my heart.

My first instinct was to go "oh, fuck, where's the undo button?" But there is no undo button, so I was stuck with my horrendous faux pas.

I mean, I'm not dealing with real people here. They're not even particularly well-drawn characters. All I know about them is their top three interests. Other than that they're complete ciphers.

Nonetheless, being called out by one on fake-social media was mortifying.

I guess one measure of the success of a game is whether you buy into its world. And if I can experience awe at the breathtaking vista of a Skyrim sunset, why shouldn't I bury my head in shame at social humiliation on the Megalodon-9?

Still, I've never found myself wishing for smell-o-vision to better immerse myself in all those rpg sewer levels, so maybe their are certain fantastic experiences I'd rather not have.

I'm sure that my current character could recover. My last one managed to sidestep the racist hiring manager by a lot of frantic last-minute grinding, just barely escaping the space-station with just a month to go. However, I'm not sure I want to try. I just feel so ashamed. Even though strategic bed-hopping wasn't my aim, to give the appearance of impropriety means I wasn't being aware enough of my environment or the digital feelings of my simulated coworkers.

What I'm faced with is a game that has provoked a strong emotional reaction, one I'm not eager to repeat. I'm afraid my current character is done for. Just seeing her is going to remind me of my mistake. I'll have to take a few hours to cool down and start a new file from scratch. And I'm going to make myself a vow - no more strategic friending, even if it happens to be really convenient.

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