The last three hours were superfluous, but they were not a total waste. I learned that Ryouta's drag name is Coolette, which got a genuine laugh out of me, and Hiyoko coined the term "rival-zoned," which I'm glad to have seen at least once.
However, my overall impression of the game is still negative. It's the damned birds. I know it's not Hatoful Boyfriend's fault, but I have a thing about birds. They creep me out. Looking at close-up pictures of them, with their beady eyes and scaly skin, it makes me a little queasy. And the thought of actually romancing a bird. There is not enough soap in the world.
Over time, I seem to have gotten desensitized to the birdiness of the game, but I think it's more the case that I got more adept at focusing on the text and ignoring the pictures (as much as I think the name "Coolette" is a clever play on words, seeing Ryouta in that maid's outfit . . . ugh). At times, I even got invested in the story, but the second I remembered it was about birds . . .
I have a feeling that there is a lot of cultural stuff that I'm just not getting here. And I don't just mean Japanese culture (though there were times when I'd see something that was obviously a reference I wasn't getting, so I can only assume that twice as many escaped my notice). Charles Darwin bred pigeons (though somehow, I think he'd agree that Hatoful Boyfriend is a step too far), apparently because it was a widespread hobby that dovetailed (I'd say "no pun intended," but would anyone believe me) with his scientific work. So there is a whole culture of pigeon-lovers out there, and I'm certain that this game speaks to them (for example - I actually did google "Brian Pigeon" and it is a real blog that has nothing to do with Hatoful Boyfriend, and is, in fact, still going strong). It's likely that there are whole layers of the game's central joke that flew completely over my head (again, pun, etc).
Despite the anger I feel towards Hatoful Boyfriend, I'm glad I played it. Not glad glad, obviously, but glad in the sense of qualified satisfaction you feel when you complete an unpleasant chore that you know will nonetheless improve your life. Like mowing the lawn. It's one of those situations where you can be happy the chore is done while still feeling a lingering resentment towards having to do it.
Because, my hang-ups aside, it's obvious that Hatoful Boyfriend is an important game. The sheer audacity and absurdity of its presence, combined with the fact that it has some genuinely deft storytelling where genres can shift on a dime without the change coming across arbitrary or awkward, means that it is a game that will be talked about for a long time to come. And now, at least, I'll be able to understand what people are saying.
HO, HO, HO, indeed.
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