Offworld Trading Company - 8/20 hours

I thought for sure that I would breeze through this one. It has everything I like - infrastructure, build orders, pacifism, space ships, the whole deal. And while much of my delay has been about unrelated life stuff, I have to admit that part of it is, indeed due to the game itself.

It's just too fast-paced. You have to make a lot of decisions very quickly, and by the time you see the consequences of those decisions, the match is very nearly over. I never really get to the point where I start to feel an attachment to my business empire. So there's this moment, after the end of each match, where I have to decide whether I feel like starting everything from scratch. And more often than not, I don't.

Which isn't to say that I dislike this game. In fact, the opposite is true. I think it would be easier for me to play it if I liked it less. As paradoxical as that sounds, it comes down to the constantly resetting nature of long-term gameplay. If I'm enjoying myself at minute 30, I'd rather move on to minute 31, rather than go back to minute 0. If I disliked the game, it would all be the same.


I think this is another case where it all boils down to mastering my emotions. I have no terrible pressing need to keep playing this game, but I also don't have any particular aversion to doing so. I could probably do a half hour a day more or less indefinitely. The main problem is my self-imposed schedule. I'm not letting my actions be guided by my natural and spontaneous desires, and so even something I enjoy can seem like a chore.

You'd think that, having done this for three years now, I'd have a cure for that malaise, but the truth is, I feel like it's been getting worse. My life has been very unsettled recently, and I've been more vulnerable to the temptation to turn off my brain and consume more passive entertainment. Binge-watching Archer is not as satisfying as finishing a new game and writing a blog post about it, but it does take less of my mental energy.

Which isn't the fault of the game, I suppose. But its structure definitely doesn't help. It's too easy to wrongly feel like I've accomplished something significant. Winning a match is just a drop in the bucket, in terms of my blog project. It's repeating the process another 39 times that will get me across the finish line.