The Witcher 3: Wild Hunt - 20/20 hours

I thought for sure I was going to get more time with this game, but over the last couple of days I've been hit with one responsibility after another - train the new guy at work, go shopping for a wheelchair-bound friend, watch season 2 of Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency. I've been swamped.

So this is going to be my last ever post about playing a game for the blog. I've got to make it count. Go out on something profound and insightful . . .

I just spent eight hours dicking around in the woods chasing map markers. Man, this is one well-realized dark medieval fantasy world.

Good-bye and good luck, everyone. It's been a wonderful four years!









Okay, that's not how I'm going to end it. But it is true that I made literally zero progress in The Witcher 3's main story, so I can't really talk about the game's themes, or how I was inspired philosophically. All I can really say is that The Witcher 3 was the single greatest concentration of sensual pleasure I've gotten from a game since Mass Effect Andromeda, and that's probably not a coincidence.

Over the course of the years, I've played a lot of indie games, and a lot of games that were spectacular blockbusters 10+ years ago, but it has become rare for me to play something near the cutting edge (and, of course, this is all relative - The Witcher 3 is from 2015) and I guess I've forgotten how much artistry and expertise goes into games these days. I'd like to say that classics like Deus Ex hold up, because I'm sentimental that way, and more than a little skeptical of a "newer is always better" philosophy, but they really don't. The Witcher 3 was so beautiful, so smooth and precise in its controls, so filled with detail and character that I'm actually worried I won't even be able to go back to Skyrim.

Skyrim, of all things! Can you believe it?

Maybe I'm being unfair. The Witcher 3 was lauded as a masterpiece, so it's likely to stack up well even against future games that are not themselves brilliantly realized by the standards of the day. But still, it's undeniable that gaming has not just accumulated more and more titles, it has advanced. I can't really say exactly what I mean by that, because it's clearly not a direct straight line - there will likely never be a video game greater than Tetris, inside the puzzle genre or out of it - but I can't deny that the industry is learning.


Open world games tend to follow a formula, and while Breath of the Wild probably opened up some new avenues for designers to explore, The Witcher 3 probably does the old model as well as it's ever going to be done.  What they both have in common is that they are both massive worlds that nevertheless pull off the trick of not feeling like they have a lot of wasted empty space. And that can only be the result of two decades worth of experience in what makes open worlds fun. I guess if it were easy to put into words, anyone could do it.

I'm definitely going to keep playing The Witcher 3, though perhaps not with the fervor of being on a schedule. I want to explore every nook and cranny, see every monster, discover an awesomely powerful build. Plus, I looked up spoilers online and learned that there is not a Geralt-Ciri relationship, so I can proceed with the confidence of knowing at least one unsettling plot point won't be sneaking in to ambush me. Also, I owe the maker's of this game an apology for doubting them. I could offer the multiple gross sex scenes of the original as an excuse, but they've had to deal with the creepy fans who have been complaining about the lack of Geralt x Ciri for three years now, so I feel like maybe they've suffered enough (seriously, do not go looking into internet discussion on this topic).

I'm wracking my brain thinking of more things to say about The Witcher 3, because I know that when this post is done, I'm going to stop writing about games indefinitely, but truthfully, most of what I could come up with are either overblown praises for small details (I like how you only have to gather the exotic ingredients for a potion the first time you make it, then they replenish themselves from your stock of alcohol whenever you rest, a mechanic that neatly solves the problem of potion hoarding while also keeping a large part of the feel of witcher alchemy) or just vague generalities that I've probably already said a dozen times before (war really sucks and I like that this game doesn't gloss over that).

So please, ignore the claw marks on the floor and pretend that I've exited this project with a modicum of dignity. . .

 The Witcher 3 is good enough to make me forget about its dubious gender politics (okay, that's the last one, I swear).

Good-bye and good luck, everyone. It's been a wonderful four years.