When I finished this blog, I swore I'd never come out of retirement. And I am technically keeping my promise . . . by doing something almost, but not quite exactly the same, only with my tabletop rpg collection this time.
http://www.itcamefromthebookshelf.com/
You know, just in case your one complaint about this blog was that it was not niche nerdy enough.
Tuesday, November 6, 2018
Thursday, June 21, 2018
One last, self-indulgent good-bye.
I used to think it funny was when an athlete or musician or other performer would ostentatiously and publicly announce their retirement, only to come back a few months (or even years) later and try and take it back. I thought it was silly for them to quit while they still had a love for their craft, and just a little bit pitiable for them to throw away the dignity of going out on top for just a little bit more time in the limelight.
I don't think that anymore.
I've spent the last couple of days thinking about loopholes. Ways I could keep doing the blog indefinitely without looking like I was going back on my word. I even, briefly, secretly hoped that someone would buy me a dozen cheap and terrible games as a last-minute prank, so I wouldn't have to take responsibility for how I feel.
But there's no need for that. I'm not retiring the blog because I got sick of it. It's natural, then, to feel ambivalent. I could do this forever and be perfectly happy in the pursuit.
I'm stopping because I came to realize that as time went on, my ratio of unique insights to random time-killing posts was starting to skew towards the trite. I'm a person who is driven to create, and I knew that if I kept doing this, my skills would begin to stagnate. If I ever wanted to explore new areas of writing, criticism, and game design, I would have to move on to something else.
So let me just say directly what I'm feeling - I'm sad that this is ending, but I'm excited to see what come next.
I think I've learned a lot in the last four years. When I started out, I was hesitant to say there was such a thing as a "bad" game. Over time, I relaxed and let myself be a little more catty, but as time went on, my understanding deepened. There's no game, aside from possibly Sakura Spirit, that I regret playing, though there are more than a few (especially Sakura Spirit) that I regret trying to play for 20 hours. Every game (except - oh, you know) had some merit, and often even the ones that were really flawed showed a unique idea or were the production of passion and determined work. And that's beautiful. So even if I would now be willing to say that there are bad games, I'm not so sure if there's such a thing as a contemptible one.
My biggest regret for the blog is that I started off with the absurd goal of "all games for at least 20 hours," as if their worth could be measured on a clock. I realize now that I should have said "until I've beaten it, or 20 hours, whichever comes first." It likely wouldn't have saved me much time, but would have spared a few decent games the brunt of my wrath.
The most rewarding thing about doing the blog was the mandate to play things that I would not have played otherwise. I likely would never have seen the end of Dangerous High School Girls In Trouble or Cthulhu Saves The World if not for my goal, and I probably would not have toughed out the early learning curve of games like One Way Heroics or Blood Bowl 2, if I'd had the luxury of quitting when things got hard. And I most certainly would never have even thought to play games like X3: Terran Conflict or Skyborn, if not for the generosity of my readers. Before I started, I had a niche, a comfort zone where I liked to stay. Now . . . well, I still have the niche, but I know I won't wither and die if I venture outside it.
It took me four years to get to where I am now, which absolutely boggles my mind. I could have gotten a second degree in that time, and in all likelihood it would have taken me less work. That's why I'm going to wrap up the blog by awarding myself an honorary Bachelor of Arts in the field of video game journaling.
That was not a typo for "journalism" - my phoney-baloney degree is definitely in a phoney-baloney field. But I wouldn't have it any other way.
I don't think that anymore.
I've spent the last couple of days thinking about loopholes. Ways I could keep doing the blog indefinitely without looking like I was going back on my word. I even, briefly, secretly hoped that someone would buy me a dozen cheap and terrible games as a last-minute prank, so I wouldn't have to take responsibility for how I feel.
But there's no need for that. I'm not retiring the blog because I got sick of it. It's natural, then, to feel ambivalent. I could do this forever and be perfectly happy in the pursuit.
I'm stopping because I came to realize that as time went on, my ratio of unique insights to random time-killing posts was starting to skew towards the trite. I'm a person who is driven to create, and I knew that if I kept doing this, my skills would begin to stagnate. If I ever wanted to explore new areas of writing, criticism, and game design, I would have to move on to something else.
So let me just say directly what I'm feeling - I'm sad that this is ending, but I'm excited to see what come next.
I think I've learned a lot in the last four years. When I started out, I was hesitant to say there was such a thing as a "bad" game. Over time, I relaxed and let myself be a little more catty, but as time went on, my understanding deepened. There's no game, aside from possibly Sakura Spirit, that I regret playing, though there are more than a few (especially Sakura Spirit) that I regret trying to play for 20 hours. Every game (except - oh, you know) had some merit, and often even the ones that were really flawed showed a unique idea or were the production of passion and determined work. And that's beautiful. So even if I would now be willing to say that there are bad games, I'm not so sure if there's such a thing as a contemptible one.
My biggest regret for the blog is that I started off with the absurd goal of "all games for at least 20 hours," as if their worth could be measured on a clock. I realize now that I should have said "until I've beaten it, or 20 hours, whichever comes first." It likely wouldn't have saved me much time, but would have spared a few decent games the brunt of my wrath.
The most rewarding thing about doing the blog was the mandate to play things that I would not have played otherwise. I likely would never have seen the end of Dangerous High School Girls In Trouble or Cthulhu Saves The World if not for my goal, and I probably would not have toughed out the early learning curve of games like One Way Heroics or Blood Bowl 2, if I'd had the luxury of quitting when things got hard. And I most certainly would never have even thought to play games like X3: Terran Conflict or Skyborn, if not for the generosity of my readers. Before I started, I had a niche, a comfort zone where I liked to stay. Now . . . well, I still have the niche, but I know I won't wither and die if I venture outside it.
It took me four years to get to where I am now, which absolutely boggles my mind. I could have gotten a second degree in that time, and in all likelihood it would have taken me less work. That's why I'm going to wrap up the blog by awarding myself an honorary Bachelor of Arts in the field of video game journaling.
That was not a typo for "journalism" - my phoney-baloney degree is definitely in a phoney-baloney field. But I wouldn't have it any other way.
The Witcher 3: Wild Hunt - 20/20 hours
I thought for sure I was going to get more time with this game, but over the last couple of days I've been hit with one responsibility after another - train the new guy at work, go shopping for a wheelchair-bound friend, watch season 2 of Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency. I've been swamped.
So this is going to be my last ever post about playing a game for the blog. I've got to make it count. Go out on something profound and insightful . . .
I just spent eight hours dicking around in the woods chasing map markers. Man, this is one well-realized dark medieval fantasy world.
Good-bye and good luck, everyone. It's been a wonderful four years!
Okay, that's not how I'm going to end it. But it is true that I made literally zero progress in The Witcher 3's main story, so I can't really talk about the game's themes, or how I was inspired philosophically. All I can really say is that The Witcher 3 was the single greatest concentration of sensual pleasure I've gotten from a game since Mass Effect Andromeda, and that's probably not a coincidence.
Over the course of the years, I've played a lot of indie games, and a lot of games that were spectacular blockbusters 10+ years ago, but it has become rare for me to play something near the cutting edge (and, of course, this is all relative - The Witcher 3 is from 2015) and I guess I've forgotten how much artistry and expertise goes into games these days. I'd like to say that classics like Deus Ex hold up, because I'm sentimental that way, and more than a little skeptical of a "newer is always better" philosophy, but they really don't. The Witcher 3 was so beautiful, so smooth and precise in its controls, so filled with detail and character that I'm actually worried I won't even be able to go back to Skyrim.
Skyrim, of all things! Can you believe it?
Maybe I'm being unfair. The Witcher 3 was lauded as a masterpiece, so it's likely to stack up well even against future games that are not themselves brilliantly realized by the standards of the day. But still, it's undeniable that gaming has not just accumulated more and more titles, it has advanced. I can't really say exactly what I mean by that, because it's clearly not a direct straight line - there will likely never be a video game greater than Tetris, inside the puzzle genre or out of it - but I can't deny that the industry is learning.
Open world games tend to follow a formula, and while Breath of the Wild probably opened up some new avenues for designers to explore, The Witcher 3 probably does the old model as well as it's ever going to be done. What they both have in common is that they are both massive worlds that nevertheless pull off the trick of not feeling like they have a lot of wasted empty space. And that can only be the result of two decades worth of experience in what makes open worlds fun. I guess if it were easy to put into words, anyone could do it.
I'm definitely going to keep playing The Witcher 3, though perhaps not with the fervor of being on a schedule. I want to explore every nook and cranny, see every monster, discover an awesomely powerful build. Plus, I looked up spoilers online and learned that there is not a Geralt-Ciri relationship, so I can proceed with the confidence of knowing at least one unsettling plot point won't be sneaking in to ambush me. Also, I owe the maker's of this game an apology for doubting them. I could offer the multiple gross sex scenes of the original as an excuse, but they've had to deal with the creepy fans who have been complaining about the lack of Geralt x Ciri for three years now, so I feel like maybe they've suffered enough (seriously, do not go looking into internet discussion on this topic).
I'm wracking my brain thinking of more things to say about The Witcher 3, because I know that when this post is done, I'm going to stop writing about games indefinitely, but truthfully, most of what I could come up with are either overblown praises for small details (I like how you only have to gather the exotic ingredients for a potion the first time you make it, then they replenish themselves from your stock of alcohol whenever you rest, a mechanic that neatly solves the problem of potion hoarding while also keeping a large part of the feel of witcher alchemy) or just vague generalities that I've probably already said a dozen times before (war really sucks and I like that this game doesn't gloss over that).
So please, ignore the claw marks on the floor and pretend that I've exited this project with a modicum of dignity. . .
The Witcher 3 is good enough to make me forget about its dubious gender politics (okay, that's the last one, I swear).
Good-bye and good luck, everyone. It's been a wonderful four years.
So this is going to be my last ever post about playing a game for the blog. I've got to make it count. Go out on something profound and insightful . . .
I just spent eight hours dicking around in the woods chasing map markers. Man, this is one well-realized dark medieval fantasy world.
Good-bye and good luck, everyone. It's been a wonderful four years!
Okay, that's not how I'm going to end it. But it is true that I made literally zero progress in The Witcher 3's main story, so I can't really talk about the game's themes, or how I was inspired philosophically. All I can really say is that The Witcher 3 was the single greatest concentration of sensual pleasure I've gotten from a game since Mass Effect Andromeda, and that's probably not a coincidence.
Over the course of the years, I've played a lot of indie games, and a lot of games that were spectacular blockbusters 10+ years ago, but it has become rare for me to play something near the cutting edge (and, of course, this is all relative - The Witcher 3 is from 2015) and I guess I've forgotten how much artistry and expertise goes into games these days. I'd like to say that classics like Deus Ex hold up, because I'm sentimental that way, and more than a little skeptical of a "newer is always better" philosophy, but they really don't. The Witcher 3 was so beautiful, so smooth and precise in its controls, so filled with detail and character that I'm actually worried I won't even be able to go back to Skyrim.
Skyrim, of all things! Can you believe it?
Maybe I'm being unfair. The Witcher 3 was lauded as a masterpiece, so it's likely to stack up well even against future games that are not themselves brilliantly realized by the standards of the day. But still, it's undeniable that gaming has not just accumulated more and more titles, it has advanced. I can't really say exactly what I mean by that, because it's clearly not a direct straight line - there will likely never be a video game greater than Tetris, inside the puzzle genre or out of it - but I can't deny that the industry is learning.
Open world games tend to follow a formula, and while Breath of the Wild probably opened up some new avenues for designers to explore, The Witcher 3 probably does the old model as well as it's ever going to be done. What they both have in common is that they are both massive worlds that nevertheless pull off the trick of not feeling like they have a lot of wasted empty space. And that can only be the result of two decades worth of experience in what makes open worlds fun. I guess if it were easy to put into words, anyone could do it.
I'm definitely going to keep playing The Witcher 3, though perhaps not with the fervor of being on a schedule. I want to explore every nook and cranny, see every monster, discover an awesomely powerful build. Plus, I looked up spoilers online and learned that there is not a Geralt-Ciri relationship, so I can proceed with the confidence of knowing at least one unsettling plot point won't be sneaking in to ambush me. Also, I owe the maker's of this game an apology for doubting them. I could offer the multiple gross sex scenes of the original as an excuse, but they've had to deal with the creepy fans who have been complaining about the lack of Geralt x Ciri for three years now, so I feel like maybe they've suffered enough (seriously, do not go looking into internet discussion on this topic).
I'm wracking my brain thinking of more things to say about The Witcher 3, because I know that when this post is done, I'm going to stop writing about games indefinitely, but truthfully, most of what I could come up with are either overblown praises for small details (I like how you only have to gather the exotic ingredients for a potion the first time you make it, then they replenish themselves from your stock of alcohol whenever you rest, a mechanic that neatly solves the problem of potion hoarding while also keeping a large part of the feel of witcher alchemy) or just vague generalities that I've probably already said a dozen times before (war really sucks and I like that this game doesn't gloss over that).
So please, ignore the claw marks on the floor and pretend that I've exited this project with a modicum of dignity. . .
The Witcher 3 is good enough to make me forget about its dubious gender politics (okay, that's the last one, I swear).
Good-bye and good luck, everyone. It's been a wonderful four years.
Monday, June 18, 2018
The Witcher 3: Wild Hunt - 12/20 hours
It has become obvious to me that there's no way I'm going to finish this game before the 20 hours are up. In all likelihood, I won't even be able to finish it before the 21st, though I'm expecting I'll get an easy 30-40 hours by then. Call it a hunch. Call it "me having heard before that The Witcher 3 has a ridiculous amount of content" But whatever it is, I'm certain this is a game that will last me for a long time.
Which is kind of nice, when I think about it. It will make for a seamless transition from blogging games to just playing them as a civilian once again. The Witcher 3 just happens to be exactly the game I want to play right now, and I'll wind up playing it in exactly the way I've historically played games like this - futilely chasing 100% completion and then eventually giving up when the remaining tasks get too hard or something new catches my eye. The circle of life.
I have managed to advance the plot just a bit, though. I wound up clearing all the side missions and map markers in the first area and was forced to move on to the next. It was kind of interesting. I got to meet an emperor. And for once Geralt's and my opinions happened to line up well on the subject of monarchy (neither of us is a fan). I got the feeling that I was missing a lot of subtext from the second game (and the end part of the first), but it was pretty cool that Yennifer turned out to be working as a vaguely menacing plenipotentiary agent of this sinister king.
And I like the thrust of the main plot, in general. Geralt raised and trained this young girl, Ciri, who was a very precocious student of the witchers' arts, but it turns out that she was related to this sinister king fellow (Geralt probably knew that all along, but it came as a surprise to me) and now the king wants her to come home. Except that she's on the run, probably from her past and definitely from the ghoulish undead/faerie spirits who are chasing her like a pack of starving dogs. So my first task is to track her down using Geralt's ye olde CSI techniques and it looks like, as I find the major waypoints on her trail, I will have to play brief side missions as Ciri, using meaningful echoes of Geralt's own skills as a way to establish a powerful emotional connection between the characters even if they share no scenes directly.
My only worry is that Geralt is going to try and fuck her.
It's probably groundless. Undoubtedly this is just residual trauma from the sex trading cards of the original game and I'm being completely unfair. The codex described Ciri as Geralt's "adopted daughter," and that's got to mean that the writers are aware that a relationship between the two will have creepy, incestuous subtext. And Geralt has always been portrayed as a stand up guy, even when he's being a bit mercenary with his witcher services. There's no way they'd go there.
And yet, Ciri went from being a cute little kid in the opening dream sequence to a svelte, platinum blonde battle vixen in her playable scenes. This is undoubtedly done for the benefit of the game's male fanbase (or perhaps so reflexively that no one even considered going another way), but it feels like Chekhov's male gaze. When Geralt and Ciri eventually and inevitably meet, the only course that is sensible, responsible, and humane is to treat it as a reunion between a father and a daughter. Geralt will express worry and relief, and Ciri, being a spunky action heroine, will make some quip about him taking too long to find her and they will continue on as a cool adventure team.
Except I just know that there are sleazeballs out there who won't care anything about that and simply relish the idea of seeing Ciri in a state of digital dishabille. And I worry that they might be a powerful enough faction that the developers would see fit to cater to them, even if just in an optional side path.
I mean, if this game were made in the 50s, it wouldn't even be a thing. Geralt would just look her up and down and quip, "my, but you have grown," and that would be it. It would never even occur to them to question the relationship. Of course adult men will be interested in romancing the barely post-adolescent women they once knew as children. That's what barely post-adolescent women are for.
I have to confess. A part of me was prejudiced against this game going into it. I'd heard that it was popular among gamergate types and that they would often hold it up as the ideal of what video games should be. It's only because I'd also heard it praised by virtually everyone else that I didn't immediately dump it into the "never in a million years" pile. I'm certain that if the game had that kind of stinking turd of a subplot, I'd have picked it up on social justice twitter or something and the praise would have been a lot more one-sided.
So there you have it. Twelve hours into the game and I waste everyone's time by writing five paragraphs on an unjustified anxiety that just popped into my head when I saw Ciri's ye olde medieval bra strap. What can I say? If not for asides like this, all my posts would be variations of "I just spent six hours dicking around in the woods chasing map markers. Man, this is one well-realized dark medieval fantasy world."
And I've got to save something for the finale.
Which is kind of nice, when I think about it. It will make for a seamless transition from blogging games to just playing them as a civilian once again. The Witcher 3 just happens to be exactly the game I want to play right now, and I'll wind up playing it in exactly the way I've historically played games like this - futilely chasing 100% completion and then eventually giving up when the remaining tasks get too hard or something new catches my eye. The circle of life.
I have managed to advance the plot just a bit, though. I wound up clearing all the side missions and map markers in the first area and was forced to move on to the next. It was kind of interesting. I got to meet an emperor. And for once Geralt's and my opinions happened to line up well on the subject of monarchy (neither of us is a fan). I got the feeling that I was missing a lot of subtext from the second game (and the end part of the first), but it was pretty cool that Yennifer turned out to be working as a vaguely menacing plenipotentiary agent of this sinister king.
And I like the thrust of the main plot, in general. Geralt raised and trained this young girl, Ciri, who was a very precocious student of the witchers' arts, but it turns out that she was related to this sinister king fellow (Geralt probably knew that all along, but it came as a surprise to me) and now the king wants her to come home. Except that she's on the run, probably from her past and definitely from the ghoulish undead/faerie spirits who are chasing her like a pack of starving dogs. So my first task is to track her down using Geralt's ye olde CSI techniques and it looks like, as I find the major waypoints on her trail, I will have to play brief side missions as Ciri, using meaningful echoes of Geralt's own skills as a way to establish a powerful emotional connection between the characters even if they share no scenes directly.
My only worry is that Geralt is going to try and fuck her.
It's probably groundless. Undoubtedly this is just residual trauma from the sex trading cards of the original game and I'm being completely unfair. The codex described Ciri as Geralt's "adopted daughter," and that's got to mean that the writers are aware that a relationship between the two will have creepy, incestuous subtext. And Geralt has always been portrayed as a stand up guy, even when he's being a bit mercenary with his witcher services. There's no way they'd go there.
And yet, Ciri went from being a cute little kid in the opening dream sequence to a svelte, platinum blonde battle vixen in her playable scenes. This is undoubtedly done for the benefit of the game's male fanbase (or perhaps so reflexively that no one even considered going another way), but it feels like Chekhov's male gaze. When Geralt and Ciri eventually and inevitably meet, the only course that is sensible, responsible, and humane is to treat it as a reunion between a father and a daughter. Geralt will express worry and relief, and Ciri, being a spunky action heroine, will make some quip about him taking too long to find her and they will continue on as a cool adventure team.
Except I just know that there are sleazeballs out there who won't care anything about that and simply relish the idea of seeing Ciri in a state of digital dishabille. And I worry that they might be a powerful enough faction that the developers would see fit to cater to them, even if just in an optional side path.
I mean, if this game were made in the 50s, it wouldn't even be a thing. Geralt would just look her up and down and quip, "my, but you have grown," and that would be it. It would never even occur to them to question the relationship. Of course adult men will be interested in romancing the barely post-adolescent women they once knew as children. That's what barely post-adolescent women are for.
I have to confess. A part of me was prejudiced against this game going into it. I'd heard that it was popular among gamergate types and that they would often hold it up as the ideal of what video games should be. It's only because I'd also heard it praised by virtually everyone else that I didn't immediately dump it into the "never in a million years" pile. I'm certain that if the game had that kind of stinking turd of a subplot, I'd have picked it up on social justice twitter or something and the praise would have been a lot more one-sided.
So there you have it. Twelve hours into the game and I waste everyone's time by writing five paragraphs on an unjustified anxiety that just popped into my head when I saw Ciri's ye olde medieval bra strap. What can I say? If not for asides like this, all my posts would be variations of "I just spent six hours dicking around in the woods chasing map markers. Man, this is one well-realized dark medieval fantasy world."
And I've got to save something for the finale.
Saturday, June 16, 2018
The Witcher 3: Wild Hunt - 6/20 hours
I got to spend the last four hours playing the good part of The Witcher 3. And that is not as backhanded as it sounds. The good part is really damned good. Traipsing around the countryside, slaying monsters, finding treasure, and doing favors for people in open-world ARPG style is a proven formula, and it has yet to let me down.
Which isn't meant to put The Witcher 3 in the same class as Two Worlds, a game whose only real strength was its genre. First of all, The Witcher 3's mechanics are as polished as anything I've ever seen in this sort of game. The combat is fast and fluid enough to make Skyrim's feel like your character is wearing a full-body mitten. The scenery is beautiful, which seems like it should be a superficial detail, but when I crest a hill and look down into a field of golden wheat rustling in the wind, I feel a profound sense of . . . something. (I was going to say "connection to nature," but that is clearly ridiculous, and I am not yet that divorced from reality).
And there are indirect things that contribute to The Witcher 3's amazing feel as well. The scale of the map is probably the closest to reality any of these things have ever been. I'm still in the first area, a small village called White Orchard, and it feels just like a small village. Which is to say that it is larger and more populous than any of the major cities in Skyrim. It's likely not the size such a place would be in real life, but it is giving me something I've been wanting for a long time - an open world fantasy game that does not try to abstract the life of an entire kingdom and just densely packs its story into a small corner of the world. This illusion is not likely to last the entire game, I'm sure, but for now it's very refreshing.
Also, the side quests are uniformly pretty good. Not once have I been asked to deliver a letter to someone's cousin asking to borrow a cup of sugar that I would subsequently have to go to the store and buy myself. The NPCs have thus far respected my time and expertise. They ask me to do things like clear a ghost out of a well or hunt down an arsonist.
Speaking of which, those sidequests I mentioned were pretty neat (there were others that were less memorable, like the time I had to go into a house and retrieve a pot for an old woman, but even that qualified as "respecting my time and expertise" because the house was filled with dead bodies). I had to use my witcher senses to gather clues and follow trails, like some kind of fantasy Sherlock Holmes.
If all the side missions are as good these have been, I may never get around to finding Yennifer (and you know what, I'm cool with that, if it means never again having to see her nude.)
Which isn't meant to put The Witcher 3 in the same class as Two Worlds, a game whose only real strength was its genre. First of all, The Witcher 3's mechanics are as polished as anything I've ever seen in this sort of game. The combat is fast and fluid enough to make Skyrim's feel like your character is wearing a full-body mitten. The scenery is beautiful, which seems like it should be a superficial detail, but when I crest a hill and look down into a field of golden wheat rustling in the wind, I feel a profound sense of . . . something. (I was going to say "connection to nature," but that is clearly ridiculous, and I am not yet that divorced from reality).
And there are indirect things that contribute to The Witcher 3's amazing feel as well. The scale of the map is probably the closest to reality any of these things have ever been. I'm still in the first area, a small village called White Orchard, and it feels just like a small village. Which is to say that it is larger and more populous than any of the major cities in Skyrim. It's likely not the size such a place would be in real life, but it is giving me something I've been wanting for a long time - an open world fantasy game that does not try to abstract the life of an entire kingdom and just densely packs its story into a small corner of the world. This illusion is not likely to last the entire game, I'm sure, but for now it's very refreshing.
Also, the side quests are uniformly pretty good. Not once have I been asked to deliver a letter to someone's cousin asking to borrow a cup of sugar that I would subsequently have to go to the store and buy myself. The NPCs have thus far respected my time and expertise. They ask me to do things like clear a ghost out of a well or hunt down an arsonist.
Speaking of which, those sidequests I mentioned were pretty neat (there were others that were less memorable, like the time I had to go into a house and retrieve a pot for an old woman, but even that qualified as "respecting my time and expertise" because the house was filled with dead bodies). I had to use my witcher senses to gather clues and follow trails, like some kind of fantasy Sherlock Holmes.
If all the side missions are as good these have been, I may never get around to finding Yennifer (and you know what, I'm cool with that, if it means never again having to see her nude.)
Friday, June 15, 2018
The Witcher 3: Wild Hunt - 2/20 hours
I do not think I'd be friends with Geralt of Rivia. He is often sarcastic, when I'd favor tact and he will threaten violence when I'd prefer to deescalate a situation. And call it a consequence of knowing so much about his aggressively heterosexual sex life, but he has an aura of macho wish fulfillment about him that would probably just come across as pathetic in real life.
Now, just because I don't like him doesn't mean that he's a bad character. It's just I can't shake the feeling that I've stepped into someone else's fantasy. Like, if Geralt were just a bellicose jerk with an ill-timed sense of irony, he'd just be another video game antihero. His personality isn't substantially different than Alex Mercer's, and I loved Prototype.
But there's something about the way he's portrayed that I just can't put my finger on. It's like the game desperately wants to make him into a sex symbol, but not like the kind of sex symbol that is widely lusted after by regular people as a sort of unattainable ideal, but the kind of sex symbol that is a symbolic stand-in for the purest possible expression of heterosexual male sexuality. He's a male sex symbol for men.
So the game starts with a Geralt nude scene, but the whole thing feels like it's setting up an alibi for the inevitable accusations that the game objectifies its female characters. You've got Geralt in a tub, legs splayed and draped over the edge, but the water obscures most of his body. Then he gets out and there's full rear nudity, but his sexy, muscular back is covered in ugly scars. His face is prettier than I remembered, and he cuts a dashing figure in his flowing swashbuckler shirt, so it's credible that he's attractive, but I'm left feeling like the very purpose of his existence is to say to players "this is what it feels like to be an alpha." The fantasy here isn't "hey, let's watch this sexy guy do his thing," it's "play this guy and you can be sexy vicariously."
I didn't really mean to focus on the game's sexual politics so much and so early, but it really does throw them at you right off the bat. Yennifer is there in the opening scene, fully nude, still looking so conventionally beautiful it's like Geralt ordered her out of a catalogue. As you search the chamber for the key to go to the next area, Geralt makes a crack about how all her clothes are black and white, and then she immediately uses that as an excuse to talk about her underwear. Later, you track her down by describing her smell, which isn't inherently sexual, but come on. It's weird. I feel like I need to slowly back out the door and knock before reentering.
Which is a shame, because I think I'm going to like nearly everything else about this game. I was afraid it wasn't going to run on my laptop and I'm certain that I'm seeing close to the ugliest possible version of the game, but even so, it's beautiful. The wide, clear vistas have a gorgeous backdrop of far-off mountains. The foliage is diverse and colorful without crossing the line into the fanciful. And even the in-door areas are lushly decorated in ways that give a very distinct sense of place. Geralt may or may not be hot, but the wall treatments in this game are sexy as fuck.
Oh yeah, and the fighting dangerous monsters and questing for justice and fortune in a land ruled by chaos is pretty good too.
Now, just because I don't like him doesn't mean that he's a bad character. It's just I can't shake the feeling that I've stepped into someone else's fantasy. Like, if Geralt were just a bellicose jerk with an ill-timed sense of irony, he'd just be another video game antihero. His personality isn't substantially different than Alex Mercer's, and I loved Prototype.
But there's something about the way he's portrayed that I just can't put my finger on. It's like the game desperately wants to make him into a sex symbol, but not like the kind of sex symbol that is widely lusted after by regular people as a sort of unattainable ideal, but the kind of sex symbol that is a symbolic stand-in for the purest possible expression of heterosexual male sexuality. He's a male sex symbol for men.
So the game starts with a Geralt nude scene, but the whole thing feels like it's setting up an alibi for the inevitable accusations that the game objectifies its female characters. You've got Geralt in a tub, legs splayed and draped over the edge, but the water obscures most of his body. Then he gets out and there's full rear nudity, but his sexy, muscular back is covered in ugly scars. His face is prettier than I remembered, and he cuts a dashing figure in his flowing swashbuckler shirt, so it's credible that he's attractive, but I'm left feeling like the very purpose of his existence is to say to players "this is what it feels like to be an alpha." The fantasy here isn't "hey, let's watch this sexy guy do his thing," it's "play this guy and you can be sexy vicariously."
I didn't really mean to focus on the game's sexual politics so much and so early, but it really does throw them at you right off the bat. Yennifer is there in the opening scene, fully nude, still looking so conventionally beautiful it's like Geralt ordered her out of a catalogue. As you search the chamber for the key to go to the next area, Geralt makes a crack about how all her clothes are black and white, and then she immediately uses that as an excuse to talk about her underwear. Later, you track her down by describing her smell, which isn't inherently sexual, but come on. It's weird. I feel like I need to slowly back out the door and knock before reentering.
Which is a shame, because I think I'm going to like nearly everything else about this game. I was afraid it wasn't going to run on my laptop and I'm certain that I'm seeing close to the ugliest possible version of the game, but even so, it's beautiful. The wide, clear vistas have a gorgeous backdrop of far-off mountains. The foliage is diverse and colorful without crossing the line into the fanciful. And even the in-door areas are lushly decorated in ways that give a very distinct sense of place. Geralt may or may not be hot, but the wall treatments in this game are sexy as fuck.
Oh yeah, and the fighting dangerous monsters and questing for justice and fortune in a land ruled by chaos is pretty good too.
The Witcher 3: Wild Hunt - Initial Thoughts
About the Game (From the Steam Store Page)
The Witcher: Wild Hunt is a story-driven, next-generation open world role-playing game set in a visually stunning fantasy universe full of meaningful choices and impactful consequences. In The Witcher you play as the professional monster hunter, Geralt of Rivia, tasked with finding a child of prophecy in a vast open world rich with merchant cities, viking pirate islands, dangerous mountain passes, and forgotten caverns to explore.
Previous Playtime
0 hours
What Was I Thinking When I Bought This
This is it. The last game I'll be playing for the blog (notwithstanding some unexpected gift in the next week). I wanted it to be something of a landmark occasion, so I knew I couldn't just play any old game that struck my fancy. But being an "event" put far too much pressure on my decision, so I put it up for a vote and The Witcher 3: Wild Hunt won.
The reason it even got on the ballot in the first place is because I've been hearing about it for years and in all that time, I've seen nothing but praise. Also, it and all the DLC was on sale for 20 dollars and it would have been a shame not bring this thing full circle.
Expectations and Prior Experience
I think I'll first need to address the elephant in the room - I may not be able to play this game at all. I bought a mid-range gaming laptop about 8 months after it came out and it was able to play Fallout 4 just fine, but in looking over the minimum system requirements, it may be that The Witcher 3 is far more demanding graphically. It's hard to say because I barely understand the difference between graphics card specifications, but I think it will be a stretch. I'm not sure what I'll do if I'm wrong and it turns out the difference between my card and the GTX 660 is more profound than I thought. Declare defeat for the first time ever, maybe?
But why dwell on the worst-case scenario when I still have an hour left on the download (seriously, 43 GB, what the hell is going on with games these days). Supposing I will be able to eke something out on the lowest possible settings, I'm rather looking forward to this game. I liked the non-sexual parts of The Witcher just fine, and I can't help but think they must have learned something in the subsequent seven years. I do worry that the off-putting moral cynicism that encouraged me to cut the first game off at 20 hours might make a return, but maybe if it does it will give me the opportunity for one last long-winded philosophical rant. I'm in tears just thinking about it.
In any event, it's hard for an open-world action/rpg to go wrong in my book. As long as I can travel the countryside killing monsters and running errands for random villagers, I'll probably have a blast for 20 hours and beyond.
The Witcher: Wild Hunt is a story-driven, next-generation open world role-playing game set in a visually stunning fantasy universe full of meaningful choices and impactful consequences. In The Witcher you play as the professional monster hunter, Geralt of Rivia, tasked with finding a child of prophecy in a vast open world rich with merchant cities, viking pirate islands, dangerous mountain passes, and forgotten caverns to explore.
Previous Playtime
0 hours
What Was I Thinking When I Bought This
This is it. The last game I'll be playing for the blog (notwithstanding some unexpected gift in the next week). I wanted it to be something of a landmark occasion, so I knew I couldn't just play any old game that struck my fancy. But being an "event" put far too much pressure on my decision, so I put it up for a vote and The Witcher 3: Wild Hunt won.
The reason it even got on the ballot in the first place is because I've been hearing about it for years and in all that time, I've seen nothing but praise. Also, it and all the DLC was on sale for 20 dollars and it would have been a shame not bring this thing full circle.
Expectations and Prior Experience
I think I'll first need to address the elephant in the room - I may not be able to play this game at all. I bought a mid-range gaming laptop about 8 months after it came out and it was able to play Fallout 4 just fine, but in looking over the minimum system requirements, it may be that The Witcher 3 is far more demanding graphically. It's hard to say because I barely understand the difference between graphics card specifications, but I think it will be a stretch. I'm not sure what I'll do if I'm wrong and it turns out the difference between my card and the GTX 660 is more profound than I thought. Declare defeat for the first time ever, maybe?
But why dwell on the worst-case scenario when I still have an hour left on the download (seriously, 43 GB, what the hell is going on with games these days). Supposing I will be able to eke something out on the lowest possible settings, I'm rather looking forward to this game. I liked the non-sexual parts of The Witcher just fine, and I can't help but think they must have learned something in the subsequent seven years. I do worry that the off-putting moral cynicism that encouraged me to cut the first game off at 20 hours might make a return, but maybe if it does it will give me the opportunity for one last long-winded philosophical rant. I'm in tears just thinking about it.
In any event, it's hard for an open-world action/rpg to go wrong in my book. As long as I can travel the countryside killing monsters and running errands for random villagers, I'll probably have a blast for 20 hours and beyond.
Thursday, June 14, 2018
Vote for my final game.
Just a quick heads up to anyone following the blog directly, but not the rpg.net thread. I'm down to one week left and I figure that gives me time for one final game. For a variety of reason, I've decided to put myself at the mercy of my readers. If you have an rpg.net account, go ahead and vote in the poll. Whatever's in the lead when I wake up tonight is going to be what I play. (Please, be kind)
https://forum.rpg.net/showthread.php?829936-What-should-I-play-for-the-last-game-on-my-blog
https://forum.rpg.net/showthread.php?829936-What-should-I-play-for-the-last-game-on-my-blog
Planet Explorers - 20/20 hours
I learned something interesting about the natives of Maria - they once had a technological civilization, but some apocalyptic event (possibly a nuclear war) destroyed their cities and reduced them to unorganized scavengers. That's probably where they got all the rifles and rocket launchers I've seen them use - relics from a past they barely understand.
Unfortunately, I learned literally nothing else about them. It really just came down to a time crunch (despite the fact that I've played this game for more than 21 hours). Later missions were too spread out on the map, so I wasted a lot of time walking. And a lot more time gathering the materials to build a base to let me build an aircraft so I could cover that distance more efficiently.
That's just the way these things go, I suppose. A big reason I love the survival crafting genre is because it allows me to make these elaborate mult-stage plans to overcome inconveniences that most other games have the good sense not to include in the first place.
. . . and it as this point that I started into yet another rendition of my now traditional defense of the genre as a "world in a box." I got about two and a half paragraphs into it before I realized I wasn't saying anything I hadn't said before. That's the danger of doing something like this for four years - patterns emerge and you start to get predictable.
So how does Planet Explorers break the pattern? What is its niche in the genre? Pretty much every game of this type exists because someone wanted to change something about Minecraft. From there, you have to trace differences like branches of a tree. Planet Explorers is on the branch that wanted more realistic graphics. And of those, it further branches into science fiction. But it stays on a single planet instead of going out into space.
So far, that could describe about a half-dozen games, I'm sure. Planet Explorers has the advantage of not looking too nice, which may not seem like much of a benefit, but resulted in it running without any sort of problems on my laptop. The story mode was decent. I'm interested in learning more about this planet and its people, though I'm not sure story modes are all that rare. Its Creator Tool is very powerful, allowing you to make equipment, vehicles, and cosmetic items to a ridiculous degree of specificity . . . but I had neither the patience nor the skill to use it (or, more accurately, I didn't have patience with my lack of skill - seriously, my attempt at a fuselage looked like a tiny gnome had a furious, but largely impotent grudge with a soda can.)
Overall, I'd say it's a middle-ground sort of game. It could tide me over until I get a computer capable of running No Man's Sky at a decent framerate. Or I could play it when I start to find Starbound's 2D to be too limiting. Or I could retreat to it when Space Engineers proves too fiddly and demanding. In fact, it could prove to be a decent second choice to just about any survival game in my repertoire. But it will likely never be my first choice.
At least, never except the one time I decide to play it all the way through to see the end of the story. I really do want to know what's going on with those aliens. . .
Just not today. I've got time to squeeze in one more game before the end of the blog, and I want to go out on a high note. Sadly, Planet Explorers is a good second choice for that purpose as well.
Unfortunately, I learned literally nothing else about them. It really just came down to a time crunch (despite the fact that I've played this game for more than 21 hours). Later missions were too spread out on the map, so I wasted a lot of time walking. And a lot more time gathering the materials to build a base to let me build an aircraft so I could cover that distance more efficiently.
That's just the way these things go, I suppose. A big reason I love the survival crafting genre is because it allows me to make these elaborate mult-stage plans to overcome inconveniences that most other games have the good sense not to include in the first place.
. . . and it as this point that I started into yet another rendition of my now traditional defense of the genre as a "world in a box." I got about two and a half paragraphs into it before I realized I wasn't saying anything I hadn't said before. That's the danger of doing something like this for four years - patterns emerge and you start to get predictable.
So how does Planet Explorers break the pattern? What is its niche in the genre? Pretty much every game of this type exists because someone wanted to change something about Minecraft. From there, you have to trace differences like branches of a tree. Planet Explorers is on the branch that wanted more realistic graphics. And of those, it further branches into science fiction. But it stays on a single planet instead of going out into space.
So far, that could describe about a half-dozen games, I'm sure. Planet Explorers has the advantage of not looking too nice, which may not seem like much of a benefit, but resulted in it running without any sort of problems on my laptop. The story mode was decent. I'm interested in learning more about this planet and its people, though I'm not sure story modes are all that rare. Its Creator Tool is very powerful, allowing you to make equipment, vehicles, and cosmetic items to a ridiculous degree of specificity . . . but I had neither the patience nor the skill to use it (or, more accurately, I didn't have patience with my lack of skill - seriously, my attempt at a fuselage looked like a tiny gnome had a furious, but largely impotent grudge with a soda can.)
Overall, I'd say it's a middle-ground sort of game. It could tide me over until I get a computer capable of running No Man's Sky at a decent framerate. Or I could play it when I start to find Starbound's 2D to be too limiting. Or I could retreat to it when Space Engineers proves too fiddly and demanding. In fact, it could prove to be a decent second choice to just about any survival game in my repertoire. But it will likely never be my first choice.
At least, never except the one time I decide to play it all the way through to see the end of the story. I really do want to know what's going on with those aliens. . .
Just not today. I've got time to squeeze in one more game before the end of the blog, and I want to go out on a high note. Sadly, Planet Explorers is a good second choice for that purpose as well.
Tuesday, June 12, 2018
Planet Explorers - 8/20 hours
The story is really starting to heat up. In the past couple of hours, I learned new background details that totally change the context of who I am and what I've been doing.
Apparently, in the far-off future of the Planet Explorers universe, humanity has split into two factions - Earthlings and Martians. Both factions are regular human beings and I've not yet figured out how (or even if it's possible) to tell them apart visually. These two factions recently had an acrimonious and bloody war and the colonization of the planet is a joint operation meant to bring them together for a common cause.
Unfortunately, it appears the planet Maria is already inhabited. Just a couple of missions ago, I was forced to fight the natives, a group of gigantic (think 9 feet tall) humanoids with a fierce demeanor and rudimentary technology. (It's possible that I may be underestimating them, though. Some have shot at me with guns, but I haven't seen any evidence of factories or cities, just these simple-looking huts).
The existence of native sapient life dramatically changes the equation. Part of the fantasy of settling space is that you can have true terra nullius and thereby all the adventure and excitement of colonization, without all the nastily exploitative stuff that makes real-world imperialism such a drag. To then be confronted with NPCs who have a much superior claim on the land that I'd been planning on exploiting is a troubling development.
I suppose its my own fault. On some level, I'd bought into the romance of the settler mythology. As much as I knew that it's never been done humanely in recent history, I indulged the idea that a whole new planet might be different. That if we could but find a place without people, it would be possible to transform the world without an accompanying injustice.
But that's all over now. I'm going to have to side with the aliens. In my heart, at least, if not in fact. It remains to be seen whether Planet Explorers will allow me to treat with the natives in a peaceful and responsible way, or whether the aliens are simply meant as another sort of environmental hazard.
Expect a 20 hour post with a lot of complaining if that turns out to be the case.
Apparently, in the far-off future of the Planet Explorers universe, humanity has split into two factions - Earthlings and Martians. Both factions are regular human beings and I've not yet figured out how (or even if it's possible) to tell them apart visually. These two factions recently had an acrimonious and bloody war and the colonization of the planet is a joint operation meant to bring them together for a common cause.
Unfortunately, it appears the planet Maria is already inhabited. Just a couple of missions ago, I was forced to fight the natives, a group of gigantic (think 9 feet tall) humanoids with a fierce demeanor and rudimentary technology. (It's possible that I may be underestimating them, though. Some have shot at me with guns, but I haven't seen any evidence of factories or cities, just these simple-looking huts).
The existence of native sapient life dramatically changes the equation. Part of the fantasy of settling space is that you can have true terra nullius and thereby all the adventure and excitement of colonization, without all the nastily exploitative stuff that makes real-world imperialism such a drag. To then be confronted with NPCs who have a much superior claim on the land that I'd been planning on exploiting is a troubling development.
I suppose its my own fault. On some level, I'd bought into the romance of the settler mythology. As much as I knew that it's never been done humanely in recent history, I indulged the idea that a whole new planet might be different. That if we could but find a place without people, it would be possible to transform the world without an accompanying injustice.
But that's all over now. I'm going to have to side with the aliens. In my heart, at least, if not in fact. It remains to be seen whether Planet Explorers will allow me to treat with the natives in a peaceful and responsible way, or whether the aliens are simply meant as another sort of environmental hazard.
Expect a 20 hour post with a lot of complaining if that turns out to be the case.
Sunday, June 10, 2018
Planet Explorers - 48 minutes later
It turns out you can right click on your vehicle, you can return it to your inventory.
I may not be the sharpest tool in the shed.
I may not be the sharpest tool in the shed.
Planet Explorers - 2/20 hours
Planet Explorers is notable for being a survival game with a main plot. So far, the story has been pretty simple. You crash-land on a planet, and you have to explore it. . .
Okay, we're done here, folks. Pack it all up. It's been a great 4 years. . .
Seriously, though, there's just not that much too it, yet. Two hours in and I'm still in that quasi-tutorial stage where each mission the NPCs send me on teaches me something about the game's rules. You know, stuff like "go fetch me these four ingredients so I can brew you a health potion . . . oh, you did it, thanks. As a reward, I will teach you how to brew yourself a health potion."
Real standard stuff. I'm glad it exists, because it's more fun than reading a manual or scrolling through a wiki, but there's nothing to have insight into. It's really just laying pipe for the story to come.
That might be interesting, though. Your spaceship at the start of the game looked like it was right on course for a smooth landing when suddenly, apparently out of nowhere, some unidentifiable thing comes out of nowhere a slams into it, creating utter pandemonium as your main ship disintegrates in mid-air and everyone who can make it to an escape pod evacuates the vessel. Now, you have to find those scattered survivors and perhaps piece together what happened, discovering the truth behind the mission's mysterious catastrophe.
Or, at least, I assume that's where it's going. Because I've been stuck in a hole for the last hour.
And it started so nice, too. After just one hour, the game gave me a motor vehicle of my very own. It was neat. It dramatically increased my overland movement speed, allowing me to cross distances in mere minutes that might well have taken me tens of minutes on foot. And roughly five minutes after getting it, I drove it into a hole and I've been frantically trying to get it out ever since.
It hasn't been easy. It doesn't like to climb up hills, and the walls of this whole are perfectly sheer. Some even overhang the hole entirely, like the roof of a cave. My situation wouldn't be so bad in Space Engineers, where I could deconstruct my vehicle entirely and just rebuild it on the surface. And even if I wanted to avoid that for some reason, the starting drill operates at roughly five times the speed of the shovel in Planet Explorers.
I'm left here with a pretty serious choice. Either I can double down on the sunk cost fallacy and do whatever it takes to get my bike out of the pit or I can just abandon it and hope the story gives me another vehicle. Neither path seems ideal, but those are my options.
. . . Unless . . . I throw caution to the wind, hop on my bike and ride deeper into the cave structure. There just might be a more gently sloped exit at the other side of this all. It's risky, though. Not too far into the cave there's another cliff that would take be just as much effort to surmount. I may well be doing nothing but doubling my effort for no gain.
I suppose I could explore on foot and then, after I'm finished, come back for my bike, but who wants to read about a Planet Explorer who always plays it safe?
I'm sure they'd much rather read about a Planet Explorer who spent 20 hours trapped in a hole instead.
Okay, we're done here, folks. Pack it all up. It's been a great 4 years. . .
Seriously, though, there's just not that much too it, yet. Two hours in and I'm still in that quasi-tutorial stage where each mission the NPCs send me on teaches me something about the game's rules. You know, stuff like "go fetch me these four ingredients so I can brew you a health potion . . . oh, you did it, thanks. As a reward, I will teach you how to brew yourself a health potion."
Real standard stuff. I'm glad it exists, because it's more fun than reading a manual or scrolling through a wiki, but there's nothing to have insight into. It's really just laying pipe for the story to come.
That might be interesting, though. Your spaceship at the start of the game looked like it was right on course for a smooth landing when suddenly, apparently out of nowhere, some unidentifiable thing comes out of nowhere a slams into it, creating utter pandemonium as your main ship disintegrates in mid-air and everyone who can make it to an escape pod evacuates the vessel. Now, you have to find those scattered survivors and perhaps piece together what happened, discovering the truth behind the mission's mysterious catastrophe.
Or, at least, I assume that's where it's going. Because I've been stuck in a hole for the last hour.
And it started so nice, too. After just one hour, the game gave me a motor vehicle of my very own. It was neat. It dramatically increased my overland movement speed, allowing me to cross distances in mere minutes that might well have taken me tens of minutes on foot. And roughly five minutes after getting it, I drove it into a hole and I've been frantically trying to get it out ever since.
It hasn't been easy. It doesn't like to climb up hills, and the walls of this whole are perfectly sheer. Some even overhang the hole entirely, like the roof of a cave. My situation wouldn't be so bad in Space Engineers, where I could deconstruct my vehicle entirely and just rebuild it on the surface. And even if I wanted to avoid that for some reason, the starting drill operates at roughly five times the speed of the shovel in Planet Explorers.
I'm left here with a pretty serious choice. Either I can double down on the sunk cost fallacy and do whatever it takes to get my bike out of the pit or I can just abandon it and hope the story gives me another vehicle. Neither path seems ideal, but those are my options.
. . . Unless . . . I throw caution to the wind, hop on my bike and ride deeper into the cave structure. There just might be a more gently sloped exit at the other side of this all. It's risky, though. Not too far into the cave there's another cliff that would take be just as much effort to surmount. I may well be doing nothing but doubling my effort for no gain.
I suppose I could explore on foot and then, after I'm finished, come back for my bike, but who wants to read about a Planet Explorer who always plays it safe?
I'm sure they'd much rather read about a Planet Explorer who spent 20 hours trapped in a hole instead.
Saturday, June 9, 2018
Planet Explorers - Initial Thoughts
About the Game (From the Steam Store Page)
In Planet Explorers, it is the year 2287, one of the first colony ships sent out by Earth arrives at the planet Maria, in the Epsilon Indi Star System. During its landing sequence, something appears in front of the massive ship that causes it to lose control and crash into the planet. Some of the colonists survive in lifeboats, but what they find is an unforgiving land filled with creatures ready to outlast the visitors from Earth. Now the survivors must explorer, gather, build, create, fight, and ultimately, build a new home.
Game Modes
Planet Explorers features single and multiplayer modes.
In single player there are 3 distinct selections
0 hours
What Was I Thinking When I Bought This (Also this veers into my expectations towards the end, so consider those sections combined).
In the waning days of the blog, I have a difficult line to walk. I want games that are interesting to talk about, but I also want to start adhering to my new rule of only buying games that I have a concrete desire to play immediately. Also, I don't want to spend a lot of money on this. Not because I don't think the blog is worth it, but because I'm hoping to have a smooth transition to getting back to my broader hobbies and money I spend on video games now is money I'm not spending on roleplaying books or trips to the museum later.
This is made especially difficult with my particular Steam wishlist. It is, if you'll forgive the euphemism . . . speculative. There was a period where I was just going through my discovery queue once a day and just wishlisting everything that was even notionally in a genre I like to play.
My reasoning there was that a lot of these games would eventually go on sale for a ridiculously low price, on the order of 2-5 dollars, and when they did, it wouldn't be much of a risk for me to take a chance on a less-known publisher or far-out concept (that's why my second choice for this slot was Car Mechanic Simulator 2015). Eventually, I came to realize that if I followed up on every such lead, I would be doing this blog until the day I die, and I had to draw a line.
A fine enough sentiment, to be sure, but despite my new resolution, I never actually got around to pruning my wishlist to a more manageable level, which means that at 4:00am this morning, as I was trying to find my next game to play, I was left with the task of sorting through almost 500 candidates.
What I wound up doing is sorting my list by price, scrolling down to the highest amount I was willing to part with at this time (15$) and just working my way up until I found something that hit the sweet spot between price, novelty, and satisfying my spontaneous gaming cravings.
Planet Explorers is a survival crafting game with a story mode. The screenshots make the monsters look pretty slick and the environments, while nothing to write home about, are easy on the eyes. Plus it looks like it has some pretty powerful customization tools, which could be fun if they dovetail nicely with the gameplay.
And besides, I'm only going to be doing this for another week and a half, so what's the worst that could happen.
In Planet Explorers, it is the year 2287, one of the first colony ships sent out by Earth arrives at the planet Maria, in the Epsilon Indi Star System. During its landing sequence, something appears in front of the massive ship that causes it to lose control and crash into the planet. Some of the colonists survive in lifeboats, but what they find is an unforgiving land filled with creatures ready to outlast the visitors from Earth. Now the survivors must explorer, gather, build, create, fight, and ultimately, build a new home.
Game Modes
Planet Explorers features single and multiplayer modes.
In single player there are 3 distinct selections
- Story Mode – Story mode is the main meat and bones of the game, it is the action-adventure-rpg-somewhat-4X segment, offering npcs, missions, colony building, farming, training, diplomacy, and of course, a storyline that you can follow or ignore. This story features a 17X8km world map with many unique character, landscapes, biomes, locations, and over 140 types of potential enemies. Even though we’ve made it seem like a very action oriented game in the trailers, in reality, players can choose to not fight so much as to just plant a farm, make some food, keep the colonists alive, negotiate with the sentient aliens, and defend the perimeter from the local life forms. That can still eventually arrive at the ending. And yes, there is an ending. Story mode also features coop with other players.
- Adventure Mode – This mode is based on a procedural map generated from a seed. It comes in a 40X40 kilometer map. Players will be able to complete random missions, defeat bosses, dive through dungeons, and explore different landscapes. This mode also features survival and versus.
- Build Mode – In this mode, there are no enemies and an infinite amount of building material. It also currently comes in a 40X40km map. Players will be able to build whatever they want in this mode, including everything in the Creations Editor. Think of this as the perfect testing ground to test everything you build. Or…it’s your place to build your garden without ever worrying about the pesky aliens.
0 hours
What Was I Thinking When I Bought This (Also this veers into my expectations towards the end, so consider those sections combined).
In the waning days of the blog, I have a difficult line to walk. I want games that are interesting to talk about, but I also want to start adhering to my new rule of only buying games that I have a concrete desire to play immediately. Also, I don't want to spend a lot of money on this. Not because I don't think the blog is worth it, but because I'm hoping to have a smooth transition to getting back to my broader hobbies and money I spend on video games now is money I'm not spending on roleplaying books or trips to the museum later.
This is made especially difficult with my particular Steam wishlist. It is, if you'll forgive the euphemism . . . speculative. There was a period where I was just going through my discovery queue once a day and just wishlisting everything that was even notionally in a genre I like to play.
My reasoning there was that a lot of these games would eventually go on sale for a ridiculously low price, on the order of 2-5 dollars, and when they did, it wouldn't be much of a risk for me to take a chance on a less-known publisher or far-out concept (that's why my second choice for this slot was Car Mechanic Simulator 2015). Eventually, I came to realize that if I followed up on every such lead, I would be doing this blog until the day I die, and I had to draw a line.
A fine enough sentiment, to be sure, but despite my new resolution, I never actually got around to pruning my wishlist to a more manageable level, which means that at 4:00am this morning, as I was trying to find my next game to play, I was left with the task of sorting through almost 500 candidates.
What I wound up doing is sorting my list by price, scrolling down to the highest amount I was willing to part with at this time (15$) and just working my way up until I found something that hit the sweet spot between price, novelty, and satisfying my spontaneous gaming cravings.
Planet Explorers is a survival crafting game with a story mode. The screenshots make the monsters look pretty slick and the environments, while nothing to write home about, are easy on the eyes. Plus it looks like it has some pretty powerful customization tools, which could be fun if they dovetail nicely with the gameplay.
And besides, I'm only going to be doing this for another week and a half, so what's the worst that could happen.
Friday, June 8, 2018
Planescape: Torment: Enhanced Edition - 20/20 hours
In the end, it was not a clean completion. I wound up having to cheat shamelessly in the final dungeon. But I'm only going to accept 50% of the blame for that. The other half I'm going to lay directly at the feet of the terrible legacy systems it inherited from AD&D 2nd edition.
DO YOU HEAR ME, PLANESCAPE: TORMENT, IF YOU'RE GOING TO INSIST ON LIMITING MY SPELLS AND HEALING BASED ON HOW OFTEN I REST, YOU CAN'T ALSO PUT ME IN LONG DUNGEONS WHERE I HAVE NO ACCESS TO SAFE RESTING PLACES!!!
It's just not cool. When I was stuck in the prison underneath the border town of Curst, I wound up having to send my main character into fights solo, despite him being a mage, because the rest of my party was down to single-digit hit points and I was all out of both healing and resurrection magic. Only the Nameless One himself was expendable enough to risk, and even then, the fights were utterly ridiculous, with me just getting one or two weak hits in before being killed and then running back through the bulk of the dungeon to slowly chip away at one enemy at a time. I know that the game's "fire and forget" magic system is supposed to encourage resource management, but it's not so fun when I'm stuck in a no-exit dungeon and I only realize too late that I don't have enough oomph to get me through.
I've kind of got it in my head that I might one day come back and try the game with a tougher warrior build, but that's long term thinking. For now, I can barely stand to think about this game.
Which is a shame, because the story is really quite good. The Nameless One was once a tricksy mortal guy who bargained/hoodwinked a powerful celestial spirit into granting him immortality, but the catch was that every time he died, he was brought back to life without his memory and some random innocent somewhere else in the universe died in his stead.
Eventually, for reasons that are never entirely made clear, his amnesia problem starts to clear up, and he can remember what has happened in his most recent lives. Determined to end this cycle of suffering, he gathers a rag-tag group of oddballs and sets out on a quest through the multiverse to piece together the mysteries of his existence.
In the end, he confronts his sins and faces his end with dignity and grace. His friends vow to find his spirit and release it from hell, but that's a story for a sequel that never came.
Overall, I'd say the story isn't quite as deep as its reputation led me to believe - ultimately the solution to the central conflict lies in some fantasy-grade technobabble - but it does explore some headier issues than most other video games. People have conversations about mortality, duty, and the whether existence is worth the suffering that accompanies it. It was fascinating seeing the wreckage left behind by the Nameless One's previous incarnations, but it would have meant more if you'd had a more intimate connection to them. As it stands, they felt almost like completely different characters . . . which is an interesting philosophical question that the game only touched on superficially.
Still, that's more than most, so I'm going to give Planescape: Torment a tentative thumbs up. Half the time the journal didn't track my quest progress properly, leaving me utterly at a loss about where to go (especially if I'd been away from the game for awhile), and the difficulty did not scale in a satisfying way in the second half, but it was an intriguing world with some fun characters and even with its faults it was enough to rope me into playing 15 hours in a single day. I'm glad I finally got to see the ending.
(Wait, is that somehow in line with game's theme? Have I been experiencing a scaled down version of the Nameless One's dilemma when I failed to beat the game time and time again and resorted to starting new save files in order to start from scratch? Is this a revelation?
Probably not. But it's fun to think about.)
DO YOU HEAR ME, PLANESCAPE: TORMENT, IF YOU'RE GOING TO INSIST ON LIMITING MY SPELLS AND HEALING BASED ON HOW OFTEN I REST, YOU CAN'T ALSO PUT ME IN LONG DUNGEONS WHERE I HAVE NO ACCESS TO SAFE RESTING PLACES!!!
It's just not cool. When I was stuck in the prison underneath the border town of Curst, I wound up having to send my main character into fights solo, despite him being a mage, because the rest of my party was down to single-digit hit points and I was all out of both healing and resurrection magic. Only the Nameless One himself was expendable enough to risk, and even then, the fights were utterly ridiculous, with me just getting one or two weak hits in before being killed and then running back through the bulk of the dungeon to slowly chip away at one enemy at a time. I know that the game's "fire and forget" magic system is supposed to encourage resource management, but it's not so fun when I'm stuck in a no-exit dungeon and I only realize too late that I don't have enough oomph to get me through.
I've kind of got it in my head that I might one day come back and try the game with a tougher warrior build, but that's long term thinking. For now, I can barely stand to think about this game.
Which is a shame, because the story is really quite good. The Nameless One was once a tricksy mortal guy who bargained/hoodwinked a powerful celestial spirit into granting him immortality, but the catch was that every time he died, he was brought back to life without his memory and some random innocent somewhere else in the universe died in his stead.
Eventually, for reasons that are never entirely made clear, his amnesia problem starts to clear up, and he can remember what has happened in his most recent lives. Determined to end this cycle of suffering, he gathers a rag-tag group of oddballs and sets out on a quest through the multiverse to piece together the mysteries of his existence.
In the end, he confronts his sins and faces his end with dignity and grace. His friends vow to find his spirit and release it from hell, but that's a story for a sequel that never came.
Overall, I'd say the story isn't quite as deep as its reputation led me to believe - ultimately the solution to the central conflict lies in some fantasy-grade technobabble - but it does explore some headier issues than most other video games. People have conversations about mortality, duty, and the whether existence is worth the suffering that accompanies it. It was fascinating seeing the wreckage left behind by the Nameless One's previous incarnations, but it would have meant more if you'd had a more intimate connection to them. As it stands, they felt almost like completely different characters . . . which is an interesting philosophical question that the game only touched on superficially.
Still, that's more than most, so I'm going to give Planescape: Torment a tentative thumbs up. Half the time the journal didn't track my quest progress properly, leaving me utterly at a loss about where to go (especially if I'd been away from the game for awhile), and the difficulty did not scale in a satisfying way in the second half, but it was an intriguing world with some fun characters and even with its faults it was enough to rope me into playing 15 hours in a single day. I'm glad I finally got to see the ending.
(Wait, is that somehow in line with game's theme? Have I been experiencing a scaled down version of the Nameless One's dilemma when I failed to beat the game time and time again and resorted to starting new save files in order to start from scratch? Is this a revelation?
Probably not. But it's fun to think about.)
Wednesday, June 6, 2018
Planescape: Torment: Enhanced Edition - 3/20 hours
I remember now why I never finished this game. It is entirely less
than helpful about guiding you from place to place. Often, you will get a
sidequest that gives you no direction whatsoever. The key to those is
invariably to wander around aimlessly and hover your mouse over every
single one of the more or less interchangeable NPCs until you find one
with a non-generic name. Then you harass them for information. If that
doesn't work, repeat the process until you find the NPC that does have the information you need. It's not terrible,
because a lot of these NPCs are pretty interesting, but it does seem
like a mechanic that has been calculated to annoy me specifically.
Which is a shame because Planescape: Torment is actually kind of a great game. The central mystery is compelling - you wake up in a morgue with no memories and quickly learn that you cannot be killed at all and as you progress through the game, you are constantly finding little hints of your past lives and indications that you were kind of a dick in most of them. And the companions you meet are all quirky and interesting - your first party member is a floating skull that may well be a bottomless repository of arcane knowledge, but doesn't let that stop him from being a sarcastic, wise-cracking pervert (though, I will admit, I may have outgrown the necrophilia jokes - now I just think they're gross).
And, of course, there's the city of Sigil itself. It's like one half art deco, one half victorian slum, and one half fever dream of a mad alchemist. And yes, I know that adds up to three halves, but that's Sigil for you - overstuffed with daring fantasy ideas (like the faction that believes all of known existence is just a crappy afterlife for some better world and wishes to achieve the spiritual detachment to find oblivion in "True Death" - and they're not the villains), even if the novelty can make it sometimes overwhelming.
I wish more video games did that. A lot of fantasy games seem to want to stick to a medieval-Europe analogue, and those that don't will usually only stray geographically - medieval east Asia or medieval north Africa, but rarely, say stone age Australia or colonial Canada. And fewer still dare to go into the completely fantastic, worlds that defy any sort of easy analogies with real world history. Which is a shame, because there aren't really any intrinsic limits here. You're creating a whole universe in a box, so the rules are only what you make them.
Because so much of my time was wandering around talking to random NPCs (and fighting off the periodic thug attacks which add basically nothing to the experience), I haven't gotten too far into the plot. My immediate goal is to find Pharrod, a shady scavenger who may or may not have the Nameless One's diary, which could offer tantalizing insights into his past. As much as Planescape: Torment's trial and error gameplay annoys me, I'm looking forward to advancing the plot. Even 20 years after the fact, the game looks gorgeous and it has atmosphere to spare. Just existing in this world is enough to keep me on the hook for the foreseeable future.
Which is a shame because Planescape: Torment is actually kind of a great game. The central mystery is compelling - you wake up in a morgue with no memories and quickly learn that you cannot be killed at all and as you progress through the game, you are constantly finding little hints of your past lives and indications that you were kind of a dick in most of them. And the companions you meet are all quirky and interesting - your first party member is a floating skull that may well be a bottomless repository of arcane knowledge, but doesn't let that stop him from being a sarcastic, wise-cracking pervert (though, I will admit, I may have outgrown the necrophilia jokes - now I just think they're gross).
And, of course, there's the city of Sigil itself. It's like one half art deco, one half victorian slum, and one half fever dream of a mad alchemist. And yes, I know that adds up to three halves, but that's Sigil for you - overstuffed with daring fantasy ideas (like the faction that believes all of known existence is just a crappy afterlife for some better world and wishes to achieve the spiritual detachment to find oblivion in "True Death" - and they're not the villains), even if the novelty can make it sometimes overwhelming.
I wish more video games did that. A lot of fantasy games seem to want to stick to a medieval-Europe analogue, and those that don't will usually only stray geographically - medieval east Asia or medieval north Africa, but rarely, say stone age Australia or colonial Canada. And fewer still dare to go into the completely fantastic, worlds that defy any sort of easy analogies with real world history. Which is a shame, because there aren't really any intrinsic limits here. You're creating a whole universe in a box, so the rules are only what you make them.
Because so much of my time was wandering around talking to random NPCs (and fighting off the periodic thug attacks which add basically nothing to the experience), I haven't gotten too far into the plot. My immediate goal is to find Pharrod, a shady scavenger who may or may not have the Nameless One's diary, which could offer tantalizing insights into his past. As much as Planescape: Torment's trial and error gameplay annoys me, I'm looking forward to advancing the plot. Even 20 years after the fact, the game looks gorgeous and it has atmosphere to spare. Just existing in this world is enough to keep me on the hook for the foreseeable future.
Tuesday, June 5, 2018
Planescape: Torment: Enhanced Edition - Initial Thoughts
About The Game (From the Steam Store Page)
The original Planescape: Torment was released in 1999 to widespread critical acclaim. It won RPG of the Year from multiple outlets for its unconventional story, characters, and amazing soundtrack. Since then, millions of Planescape: Torment fans have enjoyed exploring the strange and dangerous city of Sigil and surrounding planes through the Nameless One's eyes.
Discover an incredibly rich story and a unique setting unlike anything else in fantasy. Defeat strange and alien creatures, engage in rich dialogue, and explore the dark and dangerous Planescape setting in this 50+ hour RPG classic.
This is Planescape: Torment like you’ve never seen before.
Previous Playtime
0 hours (hah!)
What Was I Thinking When I Bought This
I'm not sure what level to start on. The prosaic first, I guess. I already own this game on disc, but the disc in a closet and its four dollar price tag is low enough that it was worth it just to avoid having to dig through a closet. Also, I'm hoping the "enhanced edition" will run on my new computer better than an executable from 20 years ago.
Now to the more abstract. I bought this particular game at this particular time explicitly because I wanted something new to play in the waning days of my blog, and this is a game I'm both excited about personally and which I think will make some interesting blog posts.
Expectations and Prior Experience
I've actually played this game a lot. The world of Sigil is amazing, both visually and in the depths of its fantasy conceits. And the plot of the game is fascinating. You're this guy who literally can't be killed and you wake up in a morgue with no immediate goal but to unravel the mysteries of your existence. It immediately sucked me in and made me eager to explore.
Unfortunately, and to my lasting shame, I've never finished this game. It's powered by the AD&D second edition rules and as we saw in Baldur's Gate II, they can be kind of a drag. Unpredictable difficulty spikes have inevitably led to me abandoning the game in frustration.
But I'm older now, and wiser. I'm hoping that the perspective I've gained from playing dozens of different games in nearly every genre imaginable has somehow strengthened my gaming fortitude and I'll be able to figure out a way to play this game without running into any insurmountable obstacles.
Worst case scenario, I spend 20 hours on the fun parts of the early game and quit in around the same spot as I always quit, none the worse for wear and with one fewer disc I have to search for next time I upgrade my PC.
The original Planescape: Torment was released in 1999 to widespread critical acclaim. It won RPG of the Year from multiple outlets for its unconventional story, characters, and amazing soundtrack. Since then, millions of Planescape: Torment fans have enjoyed exploring the strange and dangerous city of Sigil and surrounding planes through the Nameless One's eyes.
Discover an incredibly rich story and a unique setting unlike anything else in fantasy. Defeat strange and alien creatures, engage in rich dialogue, and explore the dark and dangerous Planescape setting in this 50+ hour RPG classic.
This is Planescape: Torment like you’ve never seen before.
Previous Playtime
0 hours (hah!)
What Was I Thinking When I Bought This
I'm not sure what level to start on. The prosaic first, I guess. I already own this game on disc, but the disc in a closet and its four dollar price tag is low enough that it was worth it just to avoid having to dig through a closet. Also, I'm hoping the "enhanced edition" will run on my new computer better than an executable from 20 years ago.
Now to the more abstract. I bought this particular game at this particular time explicitly because I wanted something new to play in the waning days of my blog, and this is a game I'm both excited about personally and which I think will make some interesting blog posts.
Expectations and Prior Experience
I've actually played this game a lot. The world of Sigil is amazing, both visually and in the depths of its fantasy conceits. And the plot of the game is fascinating. You're this guy who literally can't be killed and you wake up in a morgue with no immediate goal but to unravel the mysteries of your existence. It immediately sucked me in and made me eager to explore.
Unfortunately, and to my lasting shame, I've never finished this game. It's powered by the AD&D second edition rules and as we saw in Baldur's Gate II, they can be kind of a drag. Unpredictable difficulty spikes have inevitably led to me abandoning the game in frustration.
But I'm older now, and wiser. I'm hoping that the perspective I've gained from playing dozens of different games in nearly every genre imaginable has somehow strengthened my gaming fortitude and I'll be able to figure out a way to play this game without running into any insurmountable obstacles.
Worst case scenario, I spend 20 hours on the fun parts of the early game and quit in around the same spot as I always quit, none the worse for wear and with one fewer disc I have to search for next time I upgrade my PC.
Success! . . . ?
Here we are. Nearly four years after I started this blog and I've finally reached my goal. Every game in my Steam library has been played. Most for at least 20 hours, a few for less, but still beaten. This was what I wanted. It is a legitimate achievement.
My first reaction was tears.
I haven't really figured that out yet. Obviously, a part of me is sad. I really enjoyed doing this blog. It gave my life structure and purpose, and even when I was playing "bad" games, the context of why and how I was playing them made me feel empowered. I'm going to miss it.
On the other hand, the blog could sometimes be a burden. I still haven't seen the two most recent seasons of Game of Thrones because I'm always at my computer, either playing a game or pointedly avoiding playing a game and I care enough about the show that I didn't want to be distracted while watching it. I've also been known to neglect my housekeeping and exercise regimen when I've been particularly absorbed by the blog. And, of course, it ate up a lot of my discretionary time that would have been devoted to other hobbies, reading, or writing.
That's all over now. And I can't deny that it's something of a relief. I am now free to do anything I want! But what is it, exactly, that I want?
There's something a wee bit scary there. Somewhere along the line, I lost the habit of just living my life according to the spontaneous impulses of my heart. I've grown used to having this driving obsession that informs all my other actions. Even when I took a break from the blog to play Mass Effect: Andromeda or read my collection of Exalted books, I was always aware of the fact that I was taking a break. Activities that I used to think of as ordinary diversions came to be defined in the negative space of my goal.
Now that it's done, I feel untethered. Part of me is casting around for a new goal to replace the old - maybe I'll read through my whole rpg collection, or perhaps I'll tackle number theory or the western literary canon. It takes me a moment to calm myself and remember that it would do me good to live without a major commitment for awhile.
I do worry that I won't be able to get back to my baseline. That I am no longer capable of, say, just picking up a video game that I want to play and then playing it for as long as I want to play it and then stopping when I'm done and not writing a thousand word essay on why stacking pills in Dr Mario is an absurdist metaphor for the existential struggle of the human condition as filtered through capitalism's near-complete capture of the US medical system.
But I expect that will pass. There was a point, in the not-too-distant past, where I was playing 40 hours a week worth of Starbound while also making progress towards the blog, so I'm guessing that it will just take me one good survival crafting game or space 4X before I rediscover the joys of getting completely lost in a game.
It would be a mistake, though, to think that this is primarily a melancholy occasion. The sadness and doubt were merely my first reaction. It took me awhile to really come to grips with what's happened.
I did it!
I no longer have a Steam backlog. How many people can say that? Four years ago I set myself an impossible-seeming goal and I stuck it through. I can't describe how liberating it is to know this about myself. I am capable of committing to a long-term project with no obvious reward and frequent stretches of boredom and frustration and seeing it through to the end. I'm more proud of this than I am of graduating college.
That's not even an exaggeration, though I'm trying not to think too hard about the fact that "maintained a rigorous video-game playing schedule for four years" isn't exactly something I can put on a resume.
Anyway, I've got a little more than two weeks until the formal end of the blog, so I'm going to tempt fate and immediately undo this accomplishment by buying a new game and then playing it, just like the others. I expect I'll probably have the time to do it at least once more after that, but I'm not making any definite plans just yet. I want to savor the sensation of only buying games that I immediately intend to play for as long as possible.
My first reaction was tears.
I haven't really figured that out yet. Obviously, a part of me is sad. I really enjoyed doing this blog. It gave my life structure and purpose, and even when I was playing "bad" games, the context of why and how I was playing them made me feel empowered. I'm going to miss it.
On the other hand, the blog could sometimes be a burden. I still haven't seen the two most recent seasons of Game of Thrones because I'm always at my computer, either playing a game or pointedly avoiding playing a game and I care enough about the show that I didn't want to be distracted while watching it. I've also been known to neglect my housekeeping and exercise regimen when I've been particularly absorbed by the blog. And, of course, it ate up a lot of my discretionary time that would have been devoted to other hobbies, reading, or writing.
That's all over now. And I can't deny that it's something of a relief. I am now free to do anything I want! But what is it, exactly, that I want?
There's something a wee bit scary there. Somewhere along the line, I lost the habit of just living my life according to the spontaneous impulses of my heart. I've grown used to having this driving obsession that informs all my other actions. Even when I took a break from the blog to play Mass Effect: Andromeda or read my collection of Exalted books, I was always aware of the fact that I was taking a break. Activities that I used to think of as ordinary diversions came to be defined in the negative space of my goal.
Now that it's done, I feel untethered. Part of me is casting around for a new goal to replace the old - maybe I'll read through my whole rpg collection, or perhaps I'll tackle number theory or the western literary canon. It takes me a moment to calm myself and remember that it would do me good to live without a major commitment for awhile.
I do worry that I won't be able to get back to my baseline. That I am no longer capable of, say, just picking up a video game that I want to play and then playing it for as long as I want to play it and then stopping when I'm done and not writing a thousand word essay on why stacking pills in Dr Mario is an absurdist metaphor for the existential struggle of the human condition as filtered through capitalism's near-complete capture of the US medical system.
But I expect that will pass. There was a point, in the not-too-distant past, where I was playing 40 hours a week worth of Starbound while also making progress towards the blog, so I'm guessing that it will just take me one good survival crafting game or space 4X before I rediscover the joys of getting completely lost in a game.
It would be a mistake, though, to think that this is primarily a melancholy occasion. The sadness and doubt were merely my first reaction. It took me awhile to really come to grips with what's happened.
I did it!
I no longer have a Steam backlog. How many people can say that? Four years ago I set myself an impossible-seeming goal and I stuck it through. I can't describe how liberating it is to know this about myself. I am capable of committing to a long-term project with no obvious reward and frequent stretches of boredom and frustration and seeing it through to the end. I'm more proud of this than I am of graduating college.
That's not even an exaggeration, though I'm trying not to think too hard about the fact that "maintained a rigorous video-game playing schedule for four years" isn't exactly something I can put on a resume.
Anyway, I've got a little more than two weeks until the formal end of the blog, so I'm going to tempt fate and immediately undo this accomplishment by buying a new game and then playing it, just like the others. I expect I'll probably have the time to do it at least once more after that, but I'm not making any definite plans just yet. I want to savor the sensation of only buying games that I immediately intend to play for as long as possible.
Monday, June 4, 2018
ibb & obb - 20/20 hours
What?! Ten hours in two days! How is that possible, when the game was virtually unplayable?
Well. . . it's not.
I've actually only got two hours in two days. But I couldn't take it any more. The thing where I have to move two different characters in two distinct ways simultaneously while also avoiding enemies and dealing with reversed gravity just wore me down.
But then, some time into my 11th hour, I noticed something - my total time played was at more than 19 hours. I was less than a half-hour away from my goal . . . if I could somehow count the 8 hours I'd previously played with my friend, back in January.
But why couldn't I? My vow was to play every game on my list for 20 hours, and I had done that. Granted, I have, for four years now, set a precedent where I did not count any time played before my "initial thoughts" post and while that was never a formal rule, it would still be a shame to break it with only one game to go, but . . .
I really don't want to play this game any more. I'm confident I could limp across the finish line in a few more days. Just wait until my next day off and power through the remaining 6-7 hours, staring horrified at the pause screen between pointless deaths, screaming internally at the farce my life had become. But, those previous eight hours (and the bulk of my most recent 12) I played with sincerity. I wasn't trying to pad my time with dubious experiments in alternate modes of play. I was just enjoying seeing those cute little blobs bounce around the screen, navigating obstacles and jumping to places they had no earthly business getting into.
And if I can construct my 20 hours out of time spent enjoying myself in honest good spirits and an untroubled heart, then why should I bother with a gimmick? I mean, it's not as if I'm cutting myself off from experiencing the game - my friend and I already beat it. And all told it had less time-stretching shenanigans than, say, Golden Axe or Sakura Spirit.
So if I had technically completed the challenge by the letter of my goal, and I also played the game to its utmost in the spirit of my goal, do I really need to bother following my unspoken rule and ensuring that all 20 hours were in one chunk, starting with my first post about the game?
Of course, that's a rhetorical question. I'm really trying to convince myself here. And I think I succeeded. If there's a lesson to be distilled from playing these 200+ games for more than 4000 hours, it's that arbitrary rules and deadlines that confine games to a particular bloc of time, regardless of the intent of the creators or the actual merit of the experience, are a bad idea.
It forced me to play Star Wars: Dark Forces II twice and to waste time on any number of games long after I realized they weren't for me. And, of course, there were all those games I would have liked to play for more than 20 hours that I abandoned prematurely in my race to complete the blog. If I'd been thinking clearly, I would have chosen a more sensible and flexible goal from the start, but what can I say, the concrete and objective nature of my criteria appealed to me.
I suppose I should wrap this post up by bringing it back to ibb & obb. What is there left to say about this game? If you get the opportunity to play it with a friend, do so. It's delightful. If you're thinking of taking it on solo, don't. It's not meant for that and you will feel it every second you persist in such defiance. If my friend is interested, I'd be open to playing it again, though in the short term I see no reason to make it a priority.
Well. . . it's not.
I've actually only got two hours in two days. But I couldn't take it any more. The thing where I have to move two different characters in two distinct ways simultaneously while also avoiding enemies and dealing with reversed gravity just wore me down.
But then, some time into my 11th hour, I noticed something - my total time played was at more than 19 hours. I was less than a half-hour away from my goal . . . if I could somehow count the 8 hours I'd previously played with my friend, back in January.
But why couldn't I? My vow was to play every game on my list for 20 hours, and I had done that. Granted, I have, for four years now, set a precedent where I did not count any time played before my "initial thoughts" post and while that was never a formal rule, it would still be a shame to break it with only one game to go, but . . .
I really don't want to play this game any more. I'm confident I could limp across the finish line in a few more days. Just wait until my next day off and power through the remaining 6-7 hours, staring horrified at the pause screen between pointless deaths, screaming internally at the farce my life had become. But, those previous eight hours (and the bulk of my most recent 12) I played with sincerity. I wasn't trying to pad my time with dubious experiments in alternate modes of play. I was just enjoying seeing those cute little blobs bounce around the screen, navigating obstacles and jumping to places they had no earthly business getting into.
And if I can construct my 20 hours out of time spent enjoying myself in honest good spirits and an untroubled heart, then why should I bother with a gimmick? I mean, it's not as if I'm cutting myself off from experiencing the game - my friend and I already beat it. And all told it had less time-stretching shenanigans than, say, Golden Axe or Sakura Spirit.
So if I had technically completed the challenge by the letter of my goal, and I also played the game to its utmost in the spirit of my goal, do I really need to bother following my unspoken rule and ensuring that all 20 hours were in one chunk, starting with my first post about the game?
Of course, that's a rhetorical question. I'm really trying to convince myself here. And I think I succeeded. If there's a lesson to be distilled from playing these 200+ games for more than 4000 hours, it's that arbitrary rules and deadlines that confine games to a particular bloc of time, regardless of the intent of the creators or the actual merit of the experience, are a bad idea.
It forced me to play Star Wars: Dark Forces II twice and to waste time on any number of games long after I realized they weren't for me. And, of course, there were all those games I would have liked to play for more than 20 hours that I abandoned prematurely in my race to complete the blog. If I'd been thinking clearly, I would have chosen a more sensible and flexible goal from the start, but what can I say, the concrete and objective nature of my criteria appealed to me.
I suppose I should wrap this post up by bringing it back to ibb & obb. What is there left to say about this game? If you get the opportunity to play it with a friend, do so. It's delightful. If you're thinking of taking it on solo, don't. It's not meant for that and you will feel it every second you persist in such defiance. If my friend is interested, I'd be open to playing it again, though in the short term I see no reason to make it a priority.
Saturday, June 2, 2018
ibb & obb - 10/20 hours
My life has been pretty unsettled recently, but I can't really blame that for my lack of progress in this game. I think what it boils down to is that I really don't want to play this game by myself. Controlling both ibb and obb isn't fun and it isn't really challenging (not unless you count the fact that my physiology literally is not up to the task as a "challenge.")
So I've resolved to just restrict myself to multiplayer from now on. That's going to be rough, because my friend is only intermittently available, but I just don't see any other way. Soloing the game is a nightmare.
I think, if I had tried it a year ago, I would probably have been able to just power through. At the very least, I wouldn't have sweated taking 2-3 weeks to get through it. But being at the end of my list has made it more difficult. I feel a definite pressure that wasn't present in my other games. Like, everything I do besides playing ibb & obb is somehow thwarting an important life goal and that brings on a vague sense of guilt.
You'd think that guilt would serve as an extra source of motivation, pushing me to focus on my work and get it done quicker, but mostly it's just been encouraging avoidance. I feel so knotted up about ibb & obb that I try not to think about at all.
I guess I'm just going to have to get over it. My goal is to have ibb & obb done no later than June 8, because Planescape: Torment is on sale for 4 bucks and I think that would be a much nicer game to wrap the blog up with (I also have it on disc, but frankly, not having to dig through the closet for it is probably worth the four dollars).
So I've resolved to just restrict myself to multiplayer from now on. That's going to be rough, because my friend is only intermittently available, but I just don't see any other way. Soloing the game is a nightmare.
I think, if I had tried it a year ago, I would probably have been able to just power through. At the very least, I wouldn't have sweated taking 2-3 weeks to get through it. But being at the end of my list has made it more difficult. I feel a definite pressure that wasn't present in my other games. Like, everything I do besides playing ibb & obb is somehow thwarting an important life goal and that brings on a vague sense of guilt.
You'd think that guilt would serve as an extra source of motivation, pushing me to focus on my work and get it done quicker, but mostly it's just been encouraging avoidance. I feel so knotted up about ibb & obb that I try not to think about at all.
I guess I'm just going to have to get over it. My goal is to have ibb & obb done no later than June 8, because Planescape: Torment is on sale for 4 bucks and I think that would be a much nicer game to wrap the blog up with (I also have it on disc, but frankly, not having to dig through the closet for it is probably worth the four dollars).
Monday, May 28, 2018
ibb & obb - 5/20 hours
I got another chance to play with my friend, and that was pretty great. If I could keep up this pace, finishing ibb & obb would be no trouble at all. Unfortunately, it looks like I'm on my own from here on out, at least if I want to finish it by the end of the week.
The biggest obstacle is that this game is mentally fatiguing. In a good way, but fatiguing nonetheless. I think it's because it combines obscure puzzles with precision platforming and just never lets up. Each level attempts to one up the previous levels, introducing ever more convoluted ways of manipulating gravity and bouncing on each others' heads.
It's immensely satisfying when you get past a new obstacle, but the game stretches muscles that you don't often have to use in real life. So every step of the game is a demanding mental exercise. It wears you out fast.
And that doesn't even take into account the actual platforming itself. The places where you have to land are pretty narrow, and you often have only a split-second window in which to land on them. It's fine when I'm well-rested, but after your third or fourth level of the day, my reactions start to slow and I start to get sloppy. There were a couple of times where my friend and I found a secret level, figured out how to solve it, but had to give up because we couldn't execute the complex maneuvers involved.
My conclusion is that once the sluggishness starts to set in, I just have to put down the controller and get some rest. I'm not sure how this is going to play out with my solo attempts. There's an added complication in the fact that I'm neither expected nor encouraged to be able to control both characters simultaneously, so I'm going to fail in execution even when I'm fresh and alert. That's just going to exacerbate my fatigue. I may have to learn to just lean into it, do 15 hours in one night and just let my brain melt out my ears.
Then again, I always say I'm going to do that, but only follow through maybe one time in five. I've got three and a half weeks until my deadline so I'm not too worried about overdoing it, though I did kind of hope that I have some time to see what this blog would be like if I were responsible and only bought games I intended to play immediately.
Things are getting kind of suspenseful here.
The biggest obstacle is that this game is mentally fatiguing. In a good way, but fatiguing nonetheless. I think it's because it combines obscure puzzles with precision platforming and just never lets up. Each level attempts to one up the previous levels, introducing ever more convoluted ways of manipulating gravity and bouncing on each others' heads.
It's immensely satisfying when you get past a new obstacle, but the game stretches muscles that you don't often have to use in real life. So every step of the game is a demanding mental exercise. It wears you out fast.
And that doesn't even take into account the actual platforming itself. The places where you have to land are pretty narrow, and you often have only a split-second window in which to land on them. It's fine when I'm well-rested, but after your third or fourth level of the day, my reactions start to slow and I start to get sloppy. There were a couple of times where my friend and I found a secret level, figured out how to solve it, but had to give up because we couldn't execute the complex maneuvers involved.
My conclusion is that once the sluggishness starts to set in, I just have to put down the controller and get some rest. I'm not sure how this is going to play out with my solo attempts. There's an added complication in the fact that I'm neither expected nor encouraged to be able to control both characters simultaneously, so I'm going to fail in execution even when I'm fresh and alert. That's just going to exacerbate my fatigue. I may have to learn to just lean into it, do 15 hours in one night and just let my brain melt out my ears.
Then again, I always say I'm going to do that, but only follow through maybe one time in five. I've got three and a half weeks until my deadline so I'm not too worried about overdoing it, though I did kind of hope that I have some time to see what this blog would be like if I were responsible and only bought games I intended to play immediately.
Things are getting kind of suspenseful here.
Sunday, May 27, 2018
ibb & obb - 2/20 hours
Two days in and I've got approximately one hour with multiplayer and one hour trying to go solo.
Playing with a friend is super fun. ibb & obb is an excellent multiplayer game. It requires precise communication and coordinated movements and the puzzles are just complex enough that it's an advantage to have two people, but not so difficult that you're often stuck with nothing do. Hanging out with my friend is the best part, of course, but as a team activity, it's worthwhile.
Playing by myself . . . eh. It wasn't the nightmare I was expecting, but neither is it something I derive a great deal of fulfillment from. Controlling the two characters is fine if I can do it sequentially, but on those occasions where I need both ibb and obb to act in tandem, it's a real pain. I've gotten through the first three levels already, but I am seriously expecting to hit a brick wall sooner rather than later.
I guess there's nothing to be done but keep plugging away. I'll probably be able to arrange some more co-op sessions before this is all said and done, but it's unreasonable to expect even my good friends to make themselves available for the 18 hours I need to hit my benchmark.
Learning to use both hands, it is, then.
Playing with a friend is super fun. ibb & obb is an excellent multiplayer game. It requires precise communication and coordinated movements and the puzzles are just complex enough that it's an advantage to have two people, but not so difficult that you're often stuck with nothing do. Hanging out with my friend is the best part, of course, but as a team activity, it's worthwhile.
Playing by myself . . . eh. It wasn't the nightmare I was expecting, but neither is it something I derive a great deal of fulfillment from. Controlling the two characters is fine if I can do it sequentially, but on those occasions where I need both ibb and obb to act in tandem, it's a real pain. I've gotten through the first three levels already, but I am seriously expecting to hit a brick wall sooner rather than later.
I guess there's nothing to be done but keep plugging away. I'll probably be able to arrange some more co-op sessions before this is all said and done, but it's unreasonable to expect even my good friends to make themselves available for the 18 hours I need to hit my benchmark.
Learning to use both hands, it is, then.
Saturday, May 26, 2018
ibb & obb - Initial Thoughts
About the Game (From the Steam Store Page)
ibb & obb is a two player cooperative game set in a puzzle filled world where gravity goes both up and down. You can only succeed by working closely together.
Find a friend for some true local co-op couch fun or match up online.
Fall up and jump down through 15 levels filled with double gravity puzzles and discover 8 hidden worlds that will test your new non-Newtonian skills to the maximum.
All levels have their own unique music, composed by Kettel, known for his warm melodic electronica.
Previous Playtime
8 hours
Expectations and Prior Experience
ibb & obb is kind of a great game. It is a co-op platformer where each player controls one of these cute blob-like creatures and they navigate these stark 2D worlds that are divided into two separate halves with opposite gravity. So you can jump from the top of the screen, fall through a hole, and then bounce right back again when gravity reverses. To get through it, you often have to use your friend as a spring board for complicated gravity-manipulation tricks. I played it all the way through with my friend Daniel and I had a blast.
Now I have to play it mostly by myself. I'm not sure it's even possible. It's certainly not recommended, and inadvisable even if it was. I imagine it's playable, in the strictest technical sense, but only if you can split your attention and separately control two different characters with each of your hands.
It sounds like a nightmare, but I guess piano players manage to do something similar, so who knows, maybe it will get to be like second nature. In all likelihood I will be miserable the entire time.
But hey, it's the last game on my list, and if I'm not going to stubbornly insist on perversely playing games in ways their designers never intended just to reach an arbitrary deadline, then what is his blog even for?
ibb & obb is a two player cooperative game set in a puzzle filled world where gravity goes both up and down. You can only succeed by working closely together.
Find a friend for some true local co-op couch fun or match up online.
Fall up and jump down through 15 levels filled with double gravity puzzles and discover 8 hidden worlds that will test your new non-Newtonian skills to the maximum.
All levels have their own unique music, composed by Kettel, known for his warm melodic electronica.
Previous Playtime
8 hours
Expectations and Prior Experience
ibb & obb is kind of a great game. It is a co-op platformer where each player controls one of these cute blob-like creatures and they navigate these stark 2D worlds that are divided into two separate halves with opposite gravity. So you can jump from the top of the screen, fall through a hole, and then bounce right back again when gravity reverses. To get through it, you often have to use your friend as a spring board for complicated gravity-manipulation tricks. I played it all the way through with my friend Daniel and I had a blast.
Now I have to play it mostly by myself. I'm not sure it's even possible. It's certainly not recommended, and inadvisable even if it was. I imagine it's playable, in the strictest technical sense, but only if you can split your attention and separately control two different characters with each of your hands.
It sounds like a nightmare, but I guess piano players manage to do something similar, so who knows, maybe it will get to be like second nature. In all likelihood I will be miserable the entire time.
But hey, it's the last game on my list, and if I'm not going to stubbornly insist on perversely playing games in ways their designers never intended just to reach an arbitrary deadline, then what is his blog even for?
Titan Quest Anniversary Edition - 20/20 hours
All done with Titan Quest. I don't think it's a game that's going to linger in my memory. It was nice seeing the mythological creatures and having anachronistic historical cameos from figures like Leonidas and Imhotep, but the story is as shallow as shallow can be, and the art direction, while fine, had an unfortunate tendency towards the dun-colored that makes the environments blur together after awhile. I'd call it "serviceable." Nothing surprised, offended or inspired me. It was just a repetitive click-fest.
Though don't make the mistake of thinking this is a complaint. Sometimes all you want is a mindless hack and slash that you can play on autopilot. Randomized loot systems are almost always addictive, especially when combined with an rpg advancement system that balances out randomized rewards with steady growth. Titan Quest was no exception. I may not have been impressed with 90% of the items I picked up, but it was still pretty thrilling to get something powerful and new.
I may have taken a bit longer than expected, thanks to the instability of my personal life, but at no point did I feel like playing this game was a chore. I probably won't finish the main campaign, though. It was a nice change of pace going from Greek to Egyptian mythology, but it's not enough to make up for Titan Quest's sprawling maps, interchangeable enemies, and conservative character classes. I just can't foresee myself ever playing this game while Path of Exile still exists.
That said, I had fun. Overall, it was a fine game to be my second-to-last.
Though don't make the mistake of thinking this is a complaint. Sometimes all you want is a mindless hack and slash that you can play on autopilot. Randomized loot systems are almost always addictive, especially when combined with an rpg advancement system that balances out randomized rewards with steady growth. Titan Quest was no exception. I may not have been impressed with 90% of the items I picked up, but it was still pretty thrilling to get something powerful and new.
I may have taken a bit longer than expected, thanks to the instability of my personal life, but at no point did I feel like playing this game was a chore. I probably won't finish the main campaign, though. It was a nice change of pace going from Greek to Egyptian mythology, but it's not enough to make up for Titan Quest's sprawling maps, interchangeable enemies, and conservative character classes. I just can't foresee myself ever playing this game while Path of Exile still exists.
That said, I had fun. Overall, it was a fine game to be my second-to-last.
Thursday, May 24, 2018
Titan Quest Anniversary Edition - 12/20 hours
So, Titan Quest is kind of a dry game. Not dry enough for me to count it as a negative, but it certainly isn't one of those games I'm going to have memorable anecdotes about. . .
I guess I'll have to try, though.
So, the way you play Titan Quest is that almost everything is done with the mouse. If you want to go to a particular location, you click on it. If there's an enemy, you click on it to attack. You get various abilities that map to the numbers on keyboard. You press the number to activate the ability, but these are mostly interchangeable. There is some strategy to how they are used, but I find having too many abilities distracting, so I just bought the one that I mapped to the right mouse button.
I suppose I can blame some of the dryness on my tendency to favor passive abilities over a complicated active skill build. The issue I have is that all your active abilities draw from the same pool of resources and, cooldowns notwithstanding, there's not really much incentive to split my skill points among multiple abilities.
But mostly the game operates on such an abstract level that one enemy is very much like another and one area is very much like another. It's just a matter of click, click, clicking away until the text tells me I've run out of places to go.
I'm pretty sure I'll finish it by tomorrow, though. Repetition doesn't bother me, and finding new equipment and leveling up my character are still satisfying rewards. It's exactly the same sort of gameplay I enjoyed in Torchlight II and Path of Exile (and I do mean exactly), and if I were going to get bored with it, I'd have done so long ago.
I guess I'll have to try, though.
So, the way you play Titan Quest is that almost everything is done with the mouse. If you want to go to a particular location, you click on it. If there's an enemy, you click on it to attack. You get various abilities that map to the numbers on keyboard. You press the number to activate the ability, but these are mostly interchangeable. There is some strategy to how they are used, but I find having too many abilities distracting, so I just bought the one that I mapped to the right mouse button.
I suppose I can blame some of the dryness on my tendency to favor passive abilities over a complicated active skill build. The issue I have is that all your active abilities draw from the same pool of resources and, cooldowns notwithstanding, there's not really much incentive to split my skill points among multiple abilities.
But mostly the game operates on such an abstract level that one enemy is very much like another and one area is very much like another. It's just a matter of click, click, clicking away until the text tells me I've run out of places to go.
I'm pretty sure I'll finish it by tomorrow, though. Repetition doesn't bother me, and finding new equipment and leveling up my character are still satisfying rewards. It's exactly the same sort of gameplay I enjoyed in Torchlight II and Path of Exile (and I do mean exactly), and if I were going to get bored with it, I'd have done so long ago.
Monday, May 21, 2018
Titan Quest Anniversary Edition - 5/20 hours
Before starting this game, I was certain I was going to zoom through it in just a couple of days. It seemed like exactly the sort of game I can play for hours on end without complaint. And nothing I've seen in my first five hours has disabused me of that notion. Unfortunately, real life events have limited my available game playing time to less than 3 hours a day (a tragedy, I know).
But given the small and sporadic time I've had with this game, I'd say my first impressions are favorable. Its plot is probably the shallowest possible interpretation of Greek mythology and history, but that's more than forgivable. Any excuse to bash satyrs and centaurs and maenads is fine by me, though the stretch where I had to tackle zombies felt more like generic arpg fantasy than anything specific to the setting.
Titan Quest's biggest flaw is probably its loot system. The basic Diablo-esque idea of randomized loot drops of varying rarity is strong. It makes every enemy into some kind of beautiful death pinata. Unfortunately, the gambling-like thrill is somewhat mitigated when all the prizes are blandly interchangeable and so weak statistically that they aren't even worth the inventory space to sell . I'm at level 9 and I'm still picking up level 3 equipment. It's a huge letdown.
I do like the class system, though. It's not spectacular, but it does a very specific thing that always makes me smile. You have two "masteries" (broad categories of skill like "warrior" or "storm") and each of the 36 possible combinations has its own distinct class name - like Conqueror = Warrior + Defense or Elementalist = Storm + Earth. It doesn't add a lot to any particular playthrough, because you only get two masteries and you can't change them, but I enjoy the knowledge that there's a broader possibility space. And I find the interlocking nature of the masteries to be very satisfying.
From here on out, it's just more hacking and slashing for me. I'm looking forward to it, but I can only hope that I have the time to really get into it.
But given the small and sporadic time I've had with this game, I'd say my first impressions are favorable. Its plot is probably the shallowest possible interpretation of Greek mythology and history, but that's more than forgivable. Any excuse to bash satyrs and centaurs and maenads is fine by me, though the stretch where I had to tackle zombies felt more like generic arpg fantasy than anything specific to the setting.
Titan Quest's biggest flaw is probably its loot system. The basic Diablo-esque idea of randomized loot drops of varying rarity is strong. It makes every enemy into some kind of beautiful death pinata. Unfortunately, the gambling-like thrill is somewhat mitigated when all the prizes are blandly interchangeable and so weak statistically that they aren't even worth the inventory space to sell . I'm at level 9 and I'm still picking up level 3 equipment. It's a huge letdown.
I do like the class system, though. It's not spectacular, but it does a very specific thing that always makes me smile. You have two "masteries" (broad categories of skill like "warrior" or "storm") and each of the 36 possible combinations has its own distinct class name - like Conqueror = Warrior + Defense or Elementalist = Storm + Earth. It doesn't add a lot to any particular playthrough, because you only get two masteries and you can't change them, but I enjoy the knowledge that there's a broader possibility space. And I find the interlocking nature of the masteries to be very satisfying.
From here on out, it's just more hacking and slashing for me. I'm looking forward to it, but I can only hope that I have the time to really get into it.
Saturday, May 19, 2018
Titan Quest Anniversary Edition - Initial Thoughts
About the Game (From the Steam Store Page)
From Age of Empires co-creator Brian Sullivan and Braveheart writer Randall Wallace comes an innovative action role playing game set in ancient Greece, Egypt and Asia. The Titans have escaped their eternal prison, wreaking havoc upon the earth. The gods seek a hero who can turn the tide in an epic struggle that will determine the fate of both men and gods.
In this epic quest of good versus evil, players will encounter the greatest villains of Greek mythology, brave the attacks of Cerberus, and hazard the banks of the River Styx. Players will interpret the prophecies of the blind seer Tiresias, fight alongside Agamemnon and Achilles, and use the wiles of Odysseus to conquer this dark new adventure.
Are you ready for the quest?
Previous Playtime
4 hours
Expectations and Prior Experience
A Diablo-style game set in mythic Greece - there's no way this can go wrong. Or, at least, that's what I would be saying if I was going into this raw. As it so happens, I've played it online with my friend Daniel and I know for a fact that it conformed to my expectations. I had a little trouble following the plot, but I figure this time I can take it slow and actually read the dialogue.
And if it turns out that I still can't follow the plot, well, at least I'll be able to kill monsters and gather loot, and that's more than enough to keep me occupied for 20 hours.
From Age of Empires co-creator Brian Sullivan and Braveheart writer Randall Wallace comes an innovative action role playing game set in ancient Greece, Egypt and Asia. The Titans have escaped their eternal prison, wreaking havoc upon the earth. The gods seek a hero who can turn the tide in an epic struggle that will determine the fate of both men and gods.
In this epic quest of good versus evil, players will encounter the greatest villains of Greek mythology, brave the attacks of Cerberus, and hazard the banks of the River Styx. Players will interpret the prophecies of the blind seer Tiresias, fight alongside Agamemnon and Achilles, and use the wiles of Odysseus to conquer this dark new adventure.
Are you ready for the quest?
Previous Playtime
4 hours
Expectations and Prior Experience
A Diablo-style game set in mythic Greece - there's no way this can go wrong. Or, at least, that's what I would be saying if I was going into this raw. As it so happens, I've played it online with my friend Daniel and I know for a fact that it conformed to my expectations. I had a little trouble following the plot, but I figure this time I can take it slow and actually read the dialogue.
And if it turns out that I still can't follow the plot, well, at least I'll be able to kill monsters and gather loot, and that's more than enough to keep me occupied for 20 hours.
Keep Talking and Nobody Explodes - 20/20 hours
Eventually, I couldn't take it any more. I decided I needed a change of pace, so I decided to look through the workshop for mods.
That's where I found it . . .
THE CENTURION!
One hundred modules in one hundred minutes. A bomb so complex it required the installation of 100 other mods to go with it. I knew there was no chance I'd ever finish the thing, but I figured it would at least kill a lot of time.
And that it did. I decided I was not going to bother knocking myself out trying to get in under the wire. I would just take it easy, doing one exotic module at a time until my time ran out. I got as far as "the clock," which was the 16th one on the list. Not great, I'll admit, but some of those modules were downright complicated.
The worst one was "Cheap Checkout," where you had a list of groceries and you had to add up their prices (including multiplying by weight for certain products that were sold by the pound), apply a discount to groceries from a certain category (determined by the real-life day of the week) and then subtract the total from the displayed number to determine what amount you have to input to disarm the module.
Then there were other modules whose instructions were so unclear that I eventually had to look up tutorial videos just to figure out how to decipher the manual. Those modules could take me 10-20 minutes each. I actually wound up having to restart the bomb a couple of times, despite the 100 minute time limit.
I guess the temptation when designing a mod is to make it deep and weird enough to occupy a significant amount of the player's head space. It would seem like a real waste of effort to create something basic that could be finished in just a couple of seconds, and, of course, the space for iconic, easily described challenges is going to be very competitive. They probably work well enough on smaller bombs where they can shine as a centerpiece.
The modules I liked most, both modded and default, were the ones that felt like they could really be part of a bomb - cutting wires, flipping switches, monitoring the timer. There were times I wished that the game was about actually disarming fully simulated bombs, but then I remembered that doing so would be more or less the same as teaching the players how to build bombs themselves. Still, the modules that were basically just word puzzles often took me out of the experience. I guess it's just something I had to deal with.
Overall, I should not have played this game. I really enjoyed the multiplayer I played several months ago, but the memorization and streamlining I had to do over the last 20 hours has robbed the game of much of its mystique. I'm not sure if I'll ever be able to enjoy it again, and if I do, it certainly won't be in the same way.
Sigh. The things I do for love.
That's where I found it . . .
THE CENTURION!
One hundred modules in one hundred minutes. A bomb so complex it required the installation of 100 other mods to go with it. I knew there was no chance I'd ever finish the thing, but I figured it would at least kill a lot of time.
And that it did. I decided I was not going to bother knocking myself out trying to get in under the wire. I would just take it easy, doing one exotic module at a time until my time ran out. I got as far as "the clock," which was the 16th one on the list. Not great, I'll admit, but some of those modules were downright complicated.
The worst one was "Cheap Checkout," where you had a list of groceries and you had to add up their prices (including multiplying by weight for certain products that were sold by the pound), apply a discount to groceries from a certain category (determined by the real-life day of the week) and then subtract the total from the displayed number to determine what amount you have to input to disarm the module.
Then there were other modules whose instructions were so unclear that I eventually had to look up tutorial videos just to figure out how to decipher the manual. Those modules could take me 10-20 minutes each. I actually wound up having to restart the bomb a couple of times, despite the 100 minute time limit.
I guess the temptation when designing a mod is to make it deep and weird enough to occupy a significant amount of the player's head space. It would seem like a real waste of effort to create something basic that could be finished in just a couple of seconds, and, of course, the space for iconic, easily described challenges is going to be very competitive. They probably work well enough on smaller bombs where they can shine as a centerpiece.
The modules I liked most, both modded and default, were the ones that felt like they could really be part of a bomb - cutting wires, flipping switches, monitoring the timer. There were times I wished that the game was about actually disarming fully simulated bombs, but then I remembered that doing so would be more or less the same as teaching the players how to build bombs themselves. Still, the modules that were basically just word puzzles often took me out of the experience. I guess it's just something I had to deal with.
Overall, I should not have played this game. I really enjoyed the multiplayer I played several months ago, but the memorization and streamlining I had to do over the last 20 hours has robbed the game of much of its mystique. I'm not sure if I'll ever be able to enjoy it again, and if I do, it certainly won't be in the same way.
Sigh. The things I do for love.
Friday, May 18, 2018
Keep Talking and Nobody Explodes - 15/20 hours
I'm crawling towards the end, but the going is rough. I got to a point where I was doing the 3 module random bombs in 30-60 seconds, and I just couldn't take it any more. I was looking at potentially hundreds of bombs before the end. So I went back to the "extreme" bombs, to try and get my 9th achievement.
Then, after a little while, I did it. I didn't think it would be possible, but I defused the hardcore bomb, with 9 regular modules and 2 needy modules. The only place I have to go after this is the "exotic" bombs, which each have their own weird gimmick (like the "Blinkenlights" bomb, which has 5 simon says modules and not enough time to finish them in sequence). I've already got 3 out of the six done, but the other 3 are so tedious and demanding that even 30 second random bombs would be more entertaining.
I guess at this point it's a pure battle of wills. I just have to force myself to tackle bomb after bomb for the next 5 hours. Then, I'll never have to play this game again, completely obviating the whole reason it was bought for me in the first place . . .
I may not have thought this through.
Then, after a little while, I did it. I didn't think it would be possible, but I defused the hardcore bomb, with 9 regular modules and 2 needy modules. The only place I have to go after this is the "exotic" bombs, which each have their own weird gimmick (like the "Blinkenlights" bomb, which has 5 simon says modules and not enough time to finish them in sequence). I've already got 3 out of the six done, but the other 3 are so tedious and demanding that even 30 second random bombs would be more entertaining.
I guess at this point it's a pure battle of wills. I just have to force myself to tackle bomb after bomb for the next 5 hours. Then, I'll never have to play this game again, completely obviating the whole reason it was bought for me in the first place . . .
I may not have thought this through.
Thursday, May 17, 2018
Keep Talking and Nobody Explodes - 10/20 hours
Somewhere around 7 hours I hit a wall. I'd finished 2 out of the 4 "extreme" bombs and I just couldn't do it any more. They were too complicated. The needy modules were too needy. There wasn't enough time. The pressure was more or less unbearable.
So I decided I would just coast to completion. Fire up free play and do 13 hours worth of easy bombs. I'm going to make it. It's only a matter of time. But damn if it isn't tedious.
Playing this game solo was definitely a mistake. It's gotten to the point where, just from pure repetition, I can do some of the puzzles on memory alone. It's not something I anticipated from the start, but it's obvious in retrospect. I can't help but think it's undermining the whole point of the multiplayer game. So not only am I busting my head in a pointless act of endurance, I'm also ruining the very thing I most liked about the game in the first place.
Ah, hubris.
So I decided I would just coast to completion. Fire up free play and do 13 hours worth of easy bombs. I'm going to make it. It's only a matter of time. But damn if it isn't tedious.
Playing this game solo was definitely a mistake. It's gotten to the point where, just from pure repetition, I can do some of the puzzles on memory alone. It's not something I anticipated from the start, but it's obvious in retrospect. I can't help but think it's undermining the whole point of the multiplayer game. So not only am I busting my head in a pointless act of endurance, I'm also ruining the very thing I most liked about the game in the first place.
Ah, hubris.
Tuesday, May 15, 2018
Keep Talking and Nobody Explodes - 5/20 hours
I don't want to play this game any more - waaggh!
Okay, now that I got that out of my system, I can talk about my last three hours with Keep Talking and Nobody Explodes. I've been trying to do the right thing and diligently improve my skills by attempting the advanced bombs. It went fairly well for awhile, but I think I hit a wall in the second-to-last difficulty tier.
A couple of bombs back they introduced a new mechanic called "needy modules" - bomb parts that could not be permanently disarmed, but which you had to interact with every 40-50 seconds or so to keep the bomb from blowing up. With bombs like that, you have to be constantly mindful of the needy modules, even while you are working through the regular puzzles. Splitting my attention like this is pretty much my nightmare.
I will give it this, though - after awhile, the repeated failures start to blur together. I've spent an hour on my most recent bomb and as a result avoided that repetitive malaise I was so worried about in my last post. The price for that is, of course, the frustration and mental fatigue that comes with an intractable problem.
I don't know whether I'm going to keep it up. Going after the achievement is an obvious goal, and that can help keep me motivated, but these higher level bombs are overwhelming and if I have to try and speed my way through the deliberately obscure bomb defusal manual another 300 times I'm going to explode in a tantrum the likes of which this blog has never seen.
But then, what's the alternative? Just play hundreds of easy bombs, learning nothing and killing time for another 15 hours?
Hmmm . . .
Okay, now that I got that out of my system, I can talk about my last three hours with Keep Talking and Nobody Explodes. I've been trying to do the right thing and diligently improve my skills by attempting the advanced bombs. It went fairly well for awhile, but I think I hit a wall in the second-to-last difficulty tier.
A couple of bombs back they introduced a new mechanic called "needy modules" - bomb parts that could not be permanently disarmed, but which you had to interact with every 40-50 seconds or so to keep the bomb from blowing up. With bombs like that, you have to be constantly mindful of the needy modules, even while you are working through the regular puzzles. Splitting my attention like this is pretty much my nightmare.
I will give it this, though - after awhile, the repeated failures start to blur together. I've spent an hour on my most recent bomb and as a result avoided that repetitive malaise I was so worried about in my last post. The price for that is, of course, the frustration and mental fatigue that comes with an intractable problem.
I don't know whether I'm going to keep it up. Going after the achievement is an obvious goal, and that can help keep me motivated, but these higher level bombs are overwhelming and if I have to try and speed my way through the deliberately obscure bomb defusal manual another 300 times I'm going to explode in a tantrum the likes of which this blog has never seen.
But then, what's the alternative? Just play hundreds of easy bombs, learning nothing and killing time for another 15 hours?
Hmmm . . .
Sunday, May 13, 2018
Keep Talking and Nobody Explodes - 2/20 hours
This is going to be a tough one. It's only been two hours, but it feels more like ten. It's not so much that the game is dull - the modules that make up the bombs are simple puzzles that are mainly notable for how tetchily they're described, but it's not nearly as monotonous as Secret of the Magic Crystals - it's more that the game is broken down into 3-5 minute segments. That means that I am going to have to disarm almost 400 bombs. And there's no way to escape how overwhelming that is.
It doesn't help that solo playing Keep Talking and Nobody Explodes isn't very fun. It's not a complete drag. When you've got just a couple of seconds left on the clock and you snip the last wire you need to disarm the bomb in the nick of time, that's a satisfying feeling. But mostly it's just reading instructions from a sheet of paper and then following those instructions as calmly and efficiently as possible. I suppose a video game that encourages you to keep your cool and not panic under a strict time constraint has some value, but I'm already a pretty mellow guy, so it's mostly just going through the motions for me.
This hasn't yet proved the disaster I predicted before I started playing, but let's give it time. I can feel something building inside me the more I play it, but I can't yet say whether it's resentment or resignation. Either way, there's no chance of me getting out of this completely unscathed.
If only there were some sort of metaphor that described my situation of sitting in suspense waiting for calamity to inevitably strike . . .
It doesn't help that solo playing Keep Talking and Nobody Explodes isn't very fun. It's not a complete drag. When you've got just a couple of seconds left on the clock and you snip the last wire you need to disarm the bomb in the nick of time, that's a satisfying feeling. But mostly it's just reading instructions from a sheet of paper and then following those instructions as calmly and efficiently as possible. I suppose a video game that encourages you to keep your cool and not panic under a strict time constraint has some value, but I'm already a pretty mellow guy, so it's mostly just going through the motions for me.
This hasn't yet proved the disaster I predicted before I started playing, but let's give it time. I can feel something building inside me the more I play it, but I can't yet say whether it's resentment or resignation. Either way, there's no chance of me getting out of this completely unscathed.
If only there were some sort of metaphor that described my situation of sitting in suspense waiting for calamity to inevitably strike . . .
Saturday, May 12, 2018
Keep Talking and Nobody Explodes - Initial Thoughts
About the Game (From the Steam Store Page)
In Keep Talking and Nobody Explodes, one player is trapped in a room with a ticking time bomb they must defuse. The other players are the “Experts” who must give the instructions to defuse the bomb by deciphering the information found in the Bomb Defusal Manual. But there’s a catch: the Experts can’t see the bomb, so everyone will need to talk it out – fast!
Rounds are fast-paced, tense, occasionally silly, and almost always loud. Everybody has a role to play whether they are defusing the bomb or deciphering information from the manual.
Puzzle solving and communication skills – and maybe a few friendships – will be put to the test as players race to defuse bombs while communicating quickly, clearly, and effectively.
Previous Playtime
89 minutes (real time: probably roughly double)
Expectations and Prior Experience
I should not be doing this. I don't want to do this. This is going to be an utter desecration of a fun and original game. But I swore an oath before god and man that I would play every game on my challenge list for 20 hours, no exceptions. And I didn't break that vow for Ship Simulator Extremes or for Sakura Spirit. I didn't even break it for Trine 3, a game I both enjoyed and respected and which didn't deserve to get hate-played 5 times in a row.
See, Keep Talking and Nobody Explodes is kind of a great game. Or rather, it is a game that has a kind of greatness. It has its flaws, and there's a lot of room in its premise that simply isn't explored, but as far as I know, there is no other game quite like it out there. Certainly, it was the first time I've ever heard of a co-op game where one player doesn't even need to be physically present, not even metaphorically through the internet. Where half the game is a pdf the second player reads from. Where the "main" player doesn't (and indeed shouldn't) know the rules of the game.
This game is about communication. It's about teamwork. It's about trust. The main enemies are the ambiguity and limitations of the spoken word. To win, you need to speak clearly and concisely and develop a partnership with the other player.
I won't be doing any of that. I will be playing this game solo. Despite the fact that this misses the entire point, and is as absurd and pointless as playing "telephone" solo. It's not really the way I want to do it, but that's the reality of my situation. Playing with friends is difficult, because I keep odd hours, and playing with strangers is, to my socially anxious hermit brain, practically unthinkable.
I honestly can't say how this going to go. I'm expecting a train wreck, where I can't do anything. Or maybe where things that were difficult when relayed over the voice chat become trivial when I have the manual in front of me. And that's the best case scenario. Worst case is that it's merely frustrating and dull.
To sum up: I love the game, and that's why playing it like this is going to be a nightmare.
In Keep Talking and Nobody Explodes, one player is trapped in a room with a ticking time bomb they must defuse. The other players are the “Experts” who must give the instructions to defuse the bomb by deciphering the information found in the Bomb Defusal Manual. But there’s a catch: the Experts can’t see the bomb, so everyone will need to talk it out – fast!
Rounds are fast-paced, tense, occasionally silly, and almost always loud. Everybody has a role to play whether they are defusing the bomb or deciphering information from the manual.
Puzzle solving and communication skills – and maybe a few friendships – will be put to the test as players race to defuse bombs while communicating quickly, clearly, and effectively.
Previous Playtime
89 minutes (real time: probably roughly double)
Expectations and Prior Experience
I should not be doing this. I don't want to do this. This is going to be an utter desecration of a fun and original game. But I swore an oath before god and man that I would play every game on my challenge list for 20 hours, no exceptions. And I didn't break that vow for Ship Simulator Extremes or for Sakura Spirit. I didn't even break it for Trine 3, a game I both enjoyed and respected and which didn't deserve to get hate-played 5 times in a row.
See, Keep Talking and Nobody Explodes is kind of a great game. Or rather, it is a game that has a kind of greatness. It has its flaws, and there's a lot of room in its premise that simply isn't explored, but as far as I know, there is no other game quite like it out there. Certainly, it was the first time I've ever heard of a co-op game where one player doesn't even need to be physically present, not even metaphorically through the internet. Where half the game is a pdf the second player reads from. Where the "main" player doesn't (and indeed shouldn't) know the rules of the game.
This game is about communication. It's about teamwork. It's about trust. The main enemies are the ambiguity and limitations of the spoken word. To win, you need to speak clearly and concisely and develop a partnership with the other player.
I won't be doing any of that. I will be playing this game solo. Despite the fact that this misses the entire point, and is as absurd and pointless as playing "telephone" solo. It's not really the way I want to do it, but that's the reality of my situation. Playing with friends is difficult, because I keep odd hours, and playing with strangers is, to my socially anxious hermit brain, practically unthinkable.
I honestly can't say how this going to go. I'm expecting a train wreck, where I can't do anything. Or maybe where things that were difficult when relayed over the voice chat become trivial when I have the manual in front of me. And that's the best case scenario. Worst case is that it's merely frustrating and dull.
To sum up: I love the game, and that's why playing it like this is going to be a nightmare.
Celebration (premature)! I did it (kind of)!
Reaching 20 hours on The Bard's Tale marks a major blog milestone. Every single one of the games I bought for myself has either been played for 20 hours or beaten entirely.
This moment, right now. That's what it's all been about. That's the goal I set out with when I started this blog, nearly four years ago. I did it.
I can't entirely describe what I'm feeling right now. "Happiness" doesn't really cover it. I've got tears in my eyes, and they are not tears of joy, nor of relief, nor of mourning, but somehow all three. I can only imagine that it will be even more intense when I finish the blog for real.
To be honest, though, this moment was not what I was expecting. I thought for sure that I would be all fired up to finish the last three games and make it "official" or, failing that, that I would become complacent and feel unmotivated to do the rest of my challenge list because the "main" blog was complete. In reality, I just feel kind of numb, like I can't believe I'm really here.
But you know what, I'm going to save the eulogizing for when the blog is actually dead. For now, I've got work in front of me. The end is in sight and I can make it if I stay focused.
Onward!
This moment, right now. That's what it's all been about. That's the goal I set out with when I started this blog, nearly four years ago. I did it.
I can't entirely describe what I'm feeling right now. "Happiness" doesn't really cover it. I've got tears in my eyes, and they are not tears of joy, nor of relief, nor of mourning, but somehow all three. I can only imagine that it will be even more intense when I finish the blog for real.
To be honest, though, this moment was not what I was expecting. I thought for sure that I would be all fired up to finish the last three games and make it "official" or, failing that, that I would become complacent and feel unmotivated to do the rest of my challenge list because the "main" blog was complete. In reality, I just feel kind of numb, like I can't believe I'm really here.
But you know what, I'm going to save the eulogizing for when the blog is actually dead. For now, I've got work in front of me. The end is in sight and I can make it if I stay focused.
Onward!
The Bard's Tale - 20/20 hours
I waited to talk about the story until this post because I was certain that I would reach the end of the game before the 20 hours came up. The Bard's Tale just seems like that sort of game, and if it were made today, it likely would have been 10 hours long and super easy. But it was made in 2004, and you couldn't trim the fat from a game back then. People would riot.
If I were playing purely for pleasure, I think I'd like The Bard's Tale's length. There's a lot of padding - unnecessary backtracking through dungeons, maps that have useless empty space, and gimmick missions (like when you're trapped on an ice floe) that start out fun, but wear out their welcome by dragging on and on - but in a certain sense, padding is the game. You're hacking through monsters, exploring caves, and managing your summoned creatures. That's the stuff you want to be doing.
Or, at least, that's ordinarily the case. The best part of The Bard's Tale is the cutscenes, and given the length of the dungeons, it sometimes feels like the good stuff is being carefully rationed, like I'm not allowed to enjoy dessert before I finish all my vegetables.
Because The Bard's Tale can be very funny. Like there's this runner throughout the whole game about "Chosen Ones," people who have seen the chaos in the world and risen to the occasion to act heroically . . . only to fail miserably (and often fatally) because they don't have The Bard's worldliness and unique skills. And that's funny enough in a cynical way (The Bard always vigorously denies being a "Chosen One" himself), but then sometime these goblin creatures will pop up and sing an Oompa Loompa-style song about how the Chosen Ones have failed and The Bard is doomed to follow in their footsteps. And they have never failed to crack me up.
Where the story becomes tricky is in the character of The Bard himself. The game is always very explicit that The Bard is a contemptible anti-hero, only in this for money, fame, and the promise of sex with the princess, and, indeed, NPCs and plot points will heap degradation and scorn on him as a constant reminder that just about everybody thinks he's a twerp. He even has a delightfully antagonistic relationship with The Narrator, breaking the fourth wall to trade barbs with the disembodied voice that describes his actions (and which gives as well as it gets, often with withering sarcasm). Indeed, I'd say that the relationship between the Bard and the Narrator is the emotional core of the game. It doesn't hurt that the two characters each have stellar voice acting that really sells their fucked-up chemistry.
However, if we're looking at the arc of the plot as a whole, then it looks poised to give The Bard everything he wants. And that's kind of gross. I mean, he explicitly says that the only reason he's trying to save the princess is because she promised to have sex with him, and now he's really close to saving the princess and nothing about the game suggests his motivation has changed. There's probably some big plot twist coming that will pull the rug out from under him, but it's coming late enough in the game that I'm starting to have my doubts about the sharpness of the satire. For all his complaining and general scumminess, The Bard never actually refuses the call to adventure, and thus it sometimes feels like I'm seeing a thin coating of anti-hero over an otherwise bog standard rpg protagonist.
I suppose that could be the satire. That your typical rpg hero could easily be framed as a lecherous amoral mercenary with only a little effort. But I think a more likely explanation is that parody tends to be an example of the thing its parodying, and the writers didn't give as much attention to the plot and setting as they did to The Bard's between mission banter.
Because you've got to have those long, time-wasting dungeons somehow, and a plot parody might accidentally force you to try something novel with the gameplay.
That being said, I really enjoyed my time with The Bard's Tale. Doing 20 hours in 3 days was only about 25% me trying to free room up in my schedule to drag my feet on Keep Talking and Nobody Explodes. It is exactly the sort of game I used to play obsessively on my days off, before I started the blog.
I'm almost tempted to keep playing the game until I get to the end. I'm on chapter 12 (out of 13), but I hesitate because I'm pretty sure those last two chapters will take 5-8 hours, and I'm pretty eager to start Keep Talking and Nobody Explodes so I can get to procrastinating as soon as possible.
It's very likely that I will one day return to The Bard's Tale, after all this blog business is done. I'll probably start a fresh save file, so I can use a guide and get all the treasure chests and secret dungeons I missed, but that won't be a hardship. Excessive padding is only a problem when you have other things to do.
If I were playing purely for pleasure, I think I'd like The Bard's Tale's length. There's a lot of padding - unnecessary backtracking through dungeons, maps that have useless empty space, and gimmick missions (like when you're trapped on an ice floe) that start out fun, but wear out their welcome by dragging on and on - but in a certain sense, padding is the game. You're hacking through monsters, exploring caves, and managing your summoned creatures. That's the stuff you want to be doing.
Or, at least, that's ordinarily the case. The best part of The Bard's Tale is the cutscenes, and given the length of the dungeons, it sometimes feels like the good stuff is being carefully rationed, like I'm not allowed to enjoy dessert before I finish all my vegetables.
Because The Bard's Tale can be very funny. Like there's this runner throughout the whole game about "Chosen Ones," people who have seen the chaos in the world and risen to the occasion to act heroically . . . only to fail miserably (and often fatally) because they don't have The Bard's worldliness and unique skills. And that's funny enough in a cynical way (The Bard always vigorously denies being a "Chosen One" himself), but then sometime these goblin creatures will pop up and sing an Oompa Loompa-style song about how the Chosen Ones have failed and The Bard is doomed to follow in their footsteps. And they have never failed to crack me up.
Where the story becomes tricky is in the character of The Bard himself. The game is always very explicit that The Bard is a contemptible anti-hero, only in this for money, fame, and the promise of sex with the princess, and, indeed, NPCs and plot points will heap degradation and scorn on him as a constant reminder that just about everybody thinks he's a twerp. He even has a delightfully antagonistic relationship with The Narrator, breaking the fourth wall to trade barbs with the disembodied voice that describes his actions (and which gives as well as it gets, often with withering sarcasm). Indeed, I'd say that the relationship between the Bard and the Narrator is the emotional core of the game. It doesn't hurt that the two characters each have stellar voice acting that really sells their fucked-up chemistry.
However, if we're looking at the arc of the plot as a whole, then it looks poised to give The Bard everything he wants. And that's kind of gross. I mean, he explicitly says that the only reason he's trying to save the princess is because she promised to have sex with him, and now he's really close to saving the princess and nothing about the game suggests his motivation has changed. There's probably some big plot twist coming that will pull the rug out from under him, but it's coming late enough in the game that I'm starting to have my doubts about the sharpness of the satire. For all his complaining and general scumminess, The Bard never actually refuses the call to adventure, and thus it sometimes feels like I'm seeing a thin coating of anti-hero over an otherwise bog standard rpg protagonist.
I suppose that could be the satire. That your typical rpg hero could easily be framed as a lecherous amoral mercenary with only a little effort. But I think a more likely explanation is that parody tends to be an example of the thing its parodying, and the writers didn't give as much attention to the plot and setting as they did to The Bard's between mission banter.
Because you've got to have those long, time-wasting dungeons somehow, and a plot parody might accidentally force you to try something novel with the gameplay.
That being said, I really enjoyed my time with The Bard's Tale. Doing 20 hours in 3 days was only about 25% me trying to free room up in my schedule to drag my feet on Keep Talking and Nobody Explodes. It is exactly the sort of game I used to play obsessively on my days off, before I started the blog.
I'm almost tempted to keep playing the game until I get to the end. I'm on chapter 12 (out of 13), but I hesitate because I'm pretty sure those last two chapters will take 5-8 hours, and I'm pretty eager to start Keep Talking and Nobody Explodes so I can get to procrastinating as soon as possible.
It's very likely that I will one day return to The Bard's Tale, after all this blog business is done. I'll probably start a fresh save file, so I can use a guide and get all the treasure chests and secret dungeons I missed, but that won't be a hardship. Excessive padding is only a problem when you have other things to do.
Thursday, May 10, 2018
The Bard's Tale - 9/20 hours
I've come to realize why I didn't finish The Bard's Tale all those years ago - from time to time, this game descends into some straight up bullshit. A description in text can't quite convey the nuance of it, but here's my best try. About six hours into the game, you have to go through a dungeon called "the forest tower." It's long and somewhat arduous, with winding, trap-filled hallways and hordes of deadly plant creatures. That's fine. At the top of the tower, you fight a boss, Herne, who has a really high defense, summons endless waves of minions, and has an AoE poison attack that never fails to wipe out your own summoned companions. Still fine. It took me half a dozen tries to beat, but it was still fine.
But then, after all that, the game makes you fight your way back out of the dungeon. And the enemies you face are absolute health sponges with AoE attacks that they sometimes use three or four times in a row, rapidly enough that you never recover from your knockdown animation and wind up dying without being able to respond in any way. The trick to beating them proved to be a combination of a really aggressive attack, kiting as many as possible away from their groups, and luck.
It was just a poorly thought-out sequence. I was fresh off a grueling dungeon and looking to take a breather back in the village, cash in my loot, and chase a couple of hidden treasure chests I'd previously missed. But no, it was right back into the fray, and against my most difficult non-boss enemies yet. Terrible pacing.
And The Bard's Tale is sloppy in a lot of little ways like that. Save points coming before unskippable cutscenes, which are themselves before boss fights. Events that render previous areas of the map inaccessible coming without any sort of warning (so that I was unable to go back and get those previously mentioned treasure chests, for example). Damage scaling rendering your summons obsolete. The fact that you can only save at a save point, and those are far between. The "B" button being used for "confirm."
It's not a bad game, but it definitely shows its age. There's a lot to like about it too. It's often funny (the bit when you kill a wolf for the first time and the game take the piss out of rpg loot mechanics is hilarious). The combat is engaging when it's not throwing unbeatable cheese at you (which isn't often, and would be nearly unremarkable if the save points were closer together). The story is easy to follow, and . . . actually I think I'm going to wait and do a whole spoiler post on it tomorrow.
Overall, I marathoned it last night and I didn't even have to force myself to keep playing. I may well have played it all night even if I didn't have to play it for the blog (oh, who am I kidding, I'd have given up at the Forest Tower and pouted about it being "too hard.")
But then, after all that, the game makes you fight your way back out of the dungeon. And the enemies you face are absolute health sponges with AoE attacks that they sometimes use three or four times in a row, rapidly enough that you never recover from your knockdown animation and wind up dying without being able to respond in any way. The trick to beating them proved to be a combination of a really aggressive attack, kiting as many as possible away from their groups, and luck.
It was just a poorly thought-out sequence. I was fresh off a grueling dungeon and looking to take a breather back in the village, cash in my loot, and chase a couple of hidden treasure chests I'd previously missed. But no, it was right back into the fray, and against my most difficult non-boss enemies yet. Terrible pacing.
And The Bard's Tale is sloppy in a lot of little ways like that. Save points coming before unskippable cutscenes, which are themselves before boss fights. Events that render previous areas of the map inaccessible coming without any sort of warning (so that I was unable to go back and get those previously mentioned treasure chests, for example). Damage scaling rendering your summons obsolete. The fact that you can only save at a save point, and those are far between. The "B" button being used for "confirm."
It's not a bad game, but it definitely shows its age. There's a lot to like about it too. It's often funny (the bit when you kill a wolf for the first time and the game take the piss out of rpg loot mechanics is hilarious). The combat is engaging when it's not throwing unbeatable cheese at you (which isn't often, and would be nearly unremarkable if the save points were closer together). The story is easy to follow, and . . . actually I think I'm going to wait and do a whole spoiler post on it tomorrow.
Overall, I marathoned it last night and I didn't even have to force myself to keep playing. I may well have played it all night even if I didn't have to play it for the blog (oh, who am I kidding, I'd have given up at the Forest Tower and pouted about it being "too hard.")
Wednesday, May 9, 2018
Distant Worlds: Universe - Follow-up
I couldn't do it. I couldn't have a game completion based on sleep-playing, despite my myriad of very good and reasonable excuses. I wound up playing another couple of hours today, so that if you take the ten I played early this week with the three I consciously played yesterday with the five I played months ago, it would add up to 20. Or, in other words, my 28 hours total, minus the seven hours I left it running while I was asleep, are more than my threshold.
It's not the usual way I do things, mind, but I'm feeling a lot more relaxed about it. Expect another post like this in a couple of weeks when I start freaking out about the 5 hours that didn't quite fit into my regular schedule.
It's not the usual way I do things, mind, but I'm feeling a lot more relaxed about it. Expect another post like this in a couple of weeks when I start freaking out about the 5 hours that didn't quite fit into my regular schedule.
The Bard's Tale - Initial Thoughts
About the Game (From the Steam Store Page)
Now includes original classic games The Bard’s Tale 1, 2 & 3!
You are the Bard, a selfish rogue weary of pointless sub-quests and rat-infested cellars. Through magical song you summon characters to join your quest for coin and cleavage!
Prepare to immerse yourself in over 20-30 hours of adventure, featuring:
0 hours
What Was I Thinking When I Bought This
It's funny. The last self-purchased game I play for the blog is also the one that I most clearly remember picking out. This was while I was playing Bastion, and I remember making an offhand comment about how the narrator reminded me of the one in The Bard's Tale. At the time, I wanted to compare the two, but I couldn't remember the xbox game well enough to say anything cogent about it. I subsequently picked up cheap in a sale in the hopes of illuminating my Bastion experience.
Ironically, it has now been so long since I played Bastion that I probably won't be able to make the comparison from the other direction, either.
Expectations and Prior Experience
I played this game on the xbox, many years back, but it's all a fog.
. . .I remember it being funny? I definitely remember that I didn't finish it, but I can't recall why. Either it was too difficult or I got distracted by something else. I think it was standard ARPG fare, so I'm sure it was the latter.
Anyway, I don't anticipate any particular difficulties with this game. The reviews are good. The haze of my memory is vaguely positive. The genre is practically can't miss (hell, I almost enjoyed Two Worlds, for crying out loud). It would take an unforeseen catastrophe to make this anything less than tolerable (and who knows, it might even be great).
Now includes original classic games The Bard’s Tale 1, 2 & 3!
You are the Bard, a selfish rogue weary of pointless sub-quests and rat-infested cellars. Through magical song you summon characters to join your quest for coin and cleavage!
Prepare to immerse yourself in over 20-30 hours of adventure, featuring:
- 50 enemy types (not counting bosses!)
- A vast world to explore with towns, wild forests, rivers, castles, towers, secret dungeons, snowy mountains, caverns, haunted tombs and more
- A full cast of bizarre NPC’s
- Over a dozen special boss enemies to defeat
- 16 magical characters to discover and then summon at will to aid you
- Over 150 unique items of weaponry, armor, instruments, tokens, artifacts and loot!
- More Song & Dance numbers than any other game, including a zombie dance-off!
- Over 14 hours of outstanding voice-acting from top Hollywood talent, including Cary Elwes (The Princess Bride) as the Bard, and the inimitable Tony Jay as the Narrator
- Classics Games—includes original classic games The Bard’s Tale 1, 2 & 3.
0 hours
What Was I Thinking When I Bought This
It's funny. The last self-purchased game I play for the blog is also the one that I most clearly remember picking out. This was while I was playing Bastion, and I remember making an offhand comment about how the narrator reminded me of the one in The Bard's Tale. At the time, I wanted to compare the two, but I couldn't remember the xbox game well enough to say anything cogent about it. I subsequently picked up cheap in a sale in the hopes of illuminating my Bastion experience.
Ironically, it has now been so long since I played Bastion that I probably won't be able to make the comparison from the other direction, either.
Expectations and Prior Experience
I played this game on the xbox, many years back, but it's all a fog.
. . .I remember it being funny? I definitely remember that I didn't finish it, but I can't recall why. Either it was too difficult or I got distracted by something else. I think it was standard ARPG fare, so I'm sure it was the latter.
Anyway, I don't anticipate any particular difficulties with this game. The reviews are good. The haze of my memory is vaguely positive. The genre is practically can't miss (hell, I almost enjoyed Two Worlds, for crying out loud). It would take an unforeseen catastrophe to make this anything less than tolerable (and who knows, it might even be great).
Distant Worlds: Universe - 20/20 hours
I was trembling with anticipation as I walked from my bedroom to my computer. Would my automated empire be functional and prosperous? Would they be galactic overlords? Would they even still be alive?
Unfortunately, in my eagerness, I interrupted the autosave and corrupted the save file. All I know about that version is that they had at least 60 fleets. Luckily, there was an earlier autosave from a half hour prior.
The AI was not exemplary, but it survived. It went from 3rd place overall when I went to bed to 7th when I woke up, but that could likely be attributed to the other AIs being more successful. It had more colonies, more technologies, and an unimaginably huge military. But the NPCs were even bigger. I doubt I could have done better myself.
The most astonishing part of the fully automated playthrough was that it somehow earned 16 achievements. Sixteen. Most of them were for fighting wars that I would never have approved, likely because they were totally ineffectual. The AI destroyed 1000 enemy troops, conquered 50 enemy colonies, and destroyed more than 100 enemy vessels, but also somehow failed to eliminate even a single enemy faction. It also earned the achievement for being at war for more than 90% of the time, which is absolutely bonkers.
I guess I'd call it a qualified success.
Enough, at least, that you should only imagine a moderate amount of hysteria in my voice as I announce that I'm moving on. This is undeniably my least legitimate completion since Sakura Spirit, but it doesn't really bother me as much as it should. Me getting 20 hours in this game was always pretty much inevitable. Indeed, I started this entry with 5 hours and I wasn't even trying to play it.
Distant Worlds: Universe is probably the third-best real-time space 4X I've played so far (behind Star Ruler 2, but ahead of Sins of a Solar Empire: Trinity), which puts it in an odd place. I have absolutely no objection to playing it for another 20 hours more, but I can't imagine any circumstances in which I'd want to play this and not Stellaris. That may well be because Stellaris makes you do a lot of tedious micromanagement that Distant Worlds: Universe automates away. (For those of you who are new to the blog - that is not a typo).
That's what I'm going to remember most about Distant Worlds: Universe, the fact that it can, indeed, play itself indefinitely. As much as I enjoyed being the chief galactic executive, I couldn't help but feel more than a little superfluous to the whole enterprise. Granted, I would have kept the AI out of a few of its more disastrous wars, but I doubt I would have come any closer to total victory. The only reason I won the game I controlled manually was because I set the number of opponents to 1.
If I do play it again, it will be to redeem my honor as a human being. To learn exactly what it is the AI does, and then find a way to do it more efficiently. A worthy challenge, to be sure, but one that is only sparsely connected to my usual reasons for playing a space 4X game. It will take a very particular mood for me to want to revisit this game.
Maybe, when I do, I'll just leave it on all day again, see if I get another result - that I could do indefinitely, just for the sheer fascination of pitting AI against AI. I never did figure out why they would bother to include a mode that required no human intervention whatsoever, but maybe that's it. Distant Worlds: Universe is my own little sci-fi-themed robotic gladiatorial pit, and I am the blood-crazed emperor who decides its fate.
I'll try not to let the power go to my head.
Unfortunately, in my eagerness, I interrupted the autosave and corrupted the save file. All I know about that version is that they had at least 60 fleets. Luckily, there was an earlier autosave from a half hour prior.
The AI was not exemplary, but it survived. It went from 3rd place overall when I went to bed to 7th when I woke up, but that could likely be attributed to the other AIs being more successful. It had more colonies, more technologies, and an unimaginably huge military. But the NPCs were even bigger. I doubt I could have done better myself.
The most astonishing part of the fully automated playthrough was that it somehow earned 16 achievements. Sixteen. Most of them were for fighting wars that I would never have approved, likely because they were totally ineffectual. The AI destroyed 1000 enemy troops, conquered 50 enemy colonies, and destroyed more than 100 enemy vessels, but also somehow failed to eliminate even a single enemy faction. It also earned the achievement for being at war for more than 90% of the time, which is absolutely bonkers.
I guess I'd call it a qualified success.
Enough, at least, that you should only imagine a moderate amount of hysteria in my voice as I announce that I'm moving on. This is undeniably my least legitimate completion since Sakura Spirit, but it doesn't really bother me as much as it should. Me getting 20 hours in this game was always pretty much inevitable. Indeed, I started this entry with 5 hours and I wasn't even trying to play it.
Distant Worlds: Universe is probably the third-best real-time space 4X I've played so far (behind Star Ruler 2, but ahead of Sins of a Solar Empire: Trinity), which puts it in an odd place. I have absolutely no objection to playing it for another 20 hours more, but I can't imagine any circumstances in which I'd want to play this and not Stellaris. That may well be because Stellaris makes you do a lot of tedious micromanagement that Distant Worlds: Universe automates away. (For those of you who are new to the blog - that is not a typo).
That's what I'm going to remember most about Distant Worlds: Universe, the fact that it can, indeed, play itself indefinitely. As much as I enjoyed being the chief galactic executive, I couldn't help but feel more than a little superfluous to the whole enterprise. Granted, I would have kept the AI out of a few of its more disastrous wars, but I doubt I would have come any closer to total victory. The only reason I won the game I controlled manually was because I set the number of opponents to 1.
If I do play it again, it will be to redeem my honor as a human being. To learn exactly what it is the AI does, and then find a way to do it more efficiently. A worthy challenge, to be sure, but one that is only sparsely connected to my usual reasons for playing a space 4X game. It will take a very particular mood for me to want to revisit this game.
Maybe, when I do, I'll just leave it on all day again, see if I get another result - that I could do indefinitely, just for the sheer fascination of pitting AI against AI. I never did figure out why they would bother to include a mode that required no human intervention whatsoever, but maybe that's it. Distant Worlds: Universe is my own little sci-fi-themed robotic gladiatorial pit, and I am the blood-crazed emperor who decides its fate.
I'll try not to let the power go to my head.
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